Interactivodular (Ixen)

"Buckle up. It's gonna be a bumpy ride." The police sergeant gripped the wheel of his patrol car in a vice-like grip, and hovered his hand over the gear-stick, fingers flexing in anticipation.

"Sarge. It's an insomniac complaining about noisy neighbours. We don't have to use the siren."

The older male made several grumbling sounds as he backed out of the station parking-lot, "Fine. We'll play it your way. Pansy." Upon reaching the junction, which sat atop the brow of a hill, the windscreen suddenly caved in. An invisible projectile impacted against the passenger with a wet thud, causing the younger man to slump forward, "Officer Pansy? OFFICER PANSY!?" The Sergeant shook his comrade, attempting to revive him with rigorous shaking. But he did not possess a medical degree, so this did not work.

In front of the car a bizarre sight unfolded. From overhead a single figure descended, suspended in midair. It clearly wasn't human. The creature resembled a skeleton with skin stretched tightly around it, translucent under the headlights. Two blood-red eyes glowed behind its eye sockets, hinting at an inherent evil origin. The sergeant stared back dumbfounded as the baykok began to mime wielding a bow. It stretched back its invisible chord and took aim at a point between his eyes. Abruptly, the car shunted forward and took off down the hill.

"Gonna sit there or are you gonna drive?" Onyekachi had attached himself to the back of the patrol car. Upon witnessing the danger this heroic demon began praying. Praying that the floating skeleton would shoot quicker, so that he didn't have a couple of bodybags to protect. But, alas, he'd been too quick. He'd saved them. And now he had to keep on saving them until he got a chance to kick this creature's butt.

Err. But it's undead.

So?

Karma creep said we had to respect the dead. But it's attacking people. Do we get punished for helping it or for not helping it?

...

An explosion. The invisible arrow had slashed straight across a back tyre. The patrol car screeched wildly out of control as it swerved down the hill. The sergeant narrowly dodged traffic at the hill's foot and stuck his vehicle into a trimmed hedge. The bonnet buckled and airbags detonated, but the car was brought to an effective halt. The Kishi, meanwhile, had been catapulted over the obstruction. There was a loud crash as a greenhouse broke his fall.

Ugh. Let's do that again...

Brothers! Look.

Onyekachi turned his eyes to the greenery had been thrown into. The home owner had a lot of spare time and a green thumb, it seemed. Amongst the menagerie of plants was a fast ripening banana tree. It was a lucky find. To which the demon brothers responded with a collective groan. Guess we should ask him. They'd promised themselves they wouldn't do this again. Not after that last time. It was just too... degrading. If Karma f'word wanted them to keep in touch, then he shouldn't have given them such an absurd method of contacting him.

From amidst the darkness, a shrill scream sounded. They baykok was returning for its quarry. S'word. Dial it already. The Kishi threw down some money for the owner's convenience, picked a banana off the tree, and proceeded to punch in some digits. Frowning heavily, Onyekachi held the fruit to his ear, like a headset. Communication via Banana Phone. What the hell do these Lords of Order do all day? "Oi! Pick up you nincompoophead!"

Malan'tai was sitting at his dinner table when he felt the still new sensation of an itch at the back of his head. He sighed and looked to his meal; a turkey leg, mashed potatoes with gravy, green beans. And it wasn't even thanksgiving. The lord of order sighed and stood walking over to his balcony he'd take his time. No doubt it was void wanting to rant about how if nothing existed it'd all be so much better. Malan'tai rolled his eyes and poured a drink; he'd decided on peach nectar and pineapple juice, just because he could.

Finally he took a seat in one of the lounge chairs and opened his mind to the connection. "Hello there. So what was it today? A bus exploding or one of the humans giving you a bit too much hassel?" The younger lord had his own way of doing things, he wanted to unify everything into a peaceful universal utopia. In his mind order didn't mean stagnation it just meant keeping everyone in a similar mind frame. All working toward the goal of unity, one mind, one goal, nice clean and orderly.

A light sprang to life in an upstairs window. A piece of netting curtain flew back to a horrified face, then was released. Holding the banana to his ear, the Kishi climbed out of the wreckage of a greenhouse, and with glass crunching underfoot, jogged up the garden path. He placed a firm hand against the door handle of the back door. The home-owner struggled futilely to get outside. Onyekachi ignored him. He wasn't in need, the demon was entitled to spare himself from this man's petty concerns.

Just when the Kishi was about to hang up with his foot, a voice appeared on the other end of the... banana. Only it wasn't the voice the brothers had been expecting. As a rule, Onyekachi had as little to do with Karma Kharmeleon as possible. They hadn't spoken to that kook in ages. But they couldn't imagine his intonation had altered so drastically since the last occasion. Furthermore, the stranger made... sense. Talking to the divine doofus that did this to them was like having a conversation with a meth addict who had a day job as a radio DJ.

Since the gardener had begun shouting, the Kishi was forced to stick a finger in his free ear. Some people were so selfish, "Who the f'word is this? Get Karma Kharmeleon on the line, and tell him to hurry up. The Kishi has a few words for him." Maybe he'd gone gotten himself a secretary. Well whoever it was, it sucked to be them right about now. They might have the only job on Earth/Karma Land worse than Onyekachi's own.

Malan'tai heard unusual noises for Void, someone yelling? That's when it hit him. "Oh you must be one of Kharmeleons dogs, well those are his words not mine." Mal got up and headed quickly to his files. "Onyekachi was it?" Mal assumed he'd get an affirimative. "Karma is gone, you answer to me now. You can call me Unity."

He paused a moment, he liked the name far more than he thought... maybe he'd take it on as a more full time moniker. "Oh right your issue, well lets hear it since you answer to me now I can make the call for you. Oh and don't doubt I can punish you just as badly as the former. Hell I have contacts on Earth and other planes who can make existance itself painful for your pack." The intent was very clear, the new lord of order over him was very sane. And was almost daring him to challenge the new figure of authority.

Onyekachi blinked in surprise. D-Dog? An image of him wearing floppy ears with a bushy tail filled his head. He shook it clear. Why that cocky bar steward! The Kishi could not be collared and tamed. He may have been in captivity but to imply ownership was directly challenging his hubris. Already he wanted to hang up. And he hadn't even gotten the nutjob himself on the line yet. "Yeah. With an 'oh'." The Kishi replied impatiently. Never did he think he'd have to contend with phone operators in his life.

"Gone? He's out at lunch when I need-" Wait. Whut? Gone as in... gone gone?

He's gotta be kidding. We didn't get to kill him yet. He can't be gone!

So just like that we're... free of him?

No, s'word for brains, we still get the headache. That's not what I call free. Not if this jerk wants to step into Karma's pointy shoes.

Onyekachi had always assumed with Karma's death he would be free of the curse. Now Unity wanted to start trouble on that freak's behalf. Whoever Unity was. Whatever Unity and Karma represented. Whoever they were, they obviously had nothing better to do than meddle in one demon's life. The Kishi would be stuck doing this c'word forever... Until he killed them all.

"Having fun with that?"

Startled by the appearance of the grizzled police officer from earlier, Onyekachi withdrew the banana from his ear and looked about with sufficient embarrassment. In the process he'd released the door handle, causing the home owner to go sprawling to the floor in his... nightgown was probably the best term. The Sergeant had gotten himself free of the wreckage, hoisted his wounded comrade out of their seat, and carried them both into the cover of the hedge before that creature could return.

"You move quieter than the freaking spectre. It's not what it looks like!" Onyekachi had missed the last thing Mal had said.

"Don't care what it looks like. That skeleton's on the prowl. Get inside." Ignoring the indignant cries of protest from the home owner, the sergeant ushered them all onwards. He kicked the door shut with his heel and lay his comrade on a dining table, scraping it clear of clutter. "Any weapons on you? Besides your Bananamatic shotgun?"

The Kishi coloured again, "Fudge you! I don't need no stinking firearm!"

"Fudge? How old are you, son?"

Thoroughly aggrieved, the Kishi barged his way into the hallway and found privacy in a downstairs bathroom. Once secluded he held the piece of fruit back up, "Listen. I got a bunch of cluster headaches that get worse every time I do evil s'word. All thanks to your dead pal, may he rest in piece and all that bull. Except Karma had this screwed up view of the Universe. I could guess what it was that he considered 'evil' but I weren't always gonna get it right. And I see nothing about these headaches has changed since you took charge, so I need to know one thing." Onyekachi hissed into the peel, "Can you think like that madman? Cus if you can't, you're no f'wording use to me!"

Malan'tai smiled and listened to the argument going on at the other end of this connection. The logic the person was showing was entertaining to him, as if a dead lord could continue holding him to anything. "My dear Kishi tribe, I don't need to think like him now. I get to make the rules. You're living by my view of the universe. We agreed on a great many things so I just didn't decide to change anything from how it was."

Unity was speaking as though this were obviously something that he could change at a whim. Because it was, Karma at any point could have made anything the Kishi chose to do "evil". "Now then, you need to know if something is evil I take it? You've yet to indicate anything for me to judge, umm ground rules, I want everything in the universe to get along peacefully together, if something is overtly hostile, it can be restrained. Does that answer or is it something else?"