(SW/Divvie) The Danger Is Within {Arc}

I blink in surprise as he brings me breakfast. "Yeah I did." I take the plate from him and place it next to me before grabbing his arm and pulling him into the bed. "Thank you." I say with a purr, cuddling up with him before I start to eat. "I've never had any of this... What is it?" I ask, looking over at him but continuing to eat.

Ren Smiles at Ivory "well this is called bacon its basicly pork these are pancakes and...." Ren then thought a moment "you do realise this was in your fridge and pantrey right"

I frown. "What? Hmmm... I basically followed someone in the store and put stuff into my cart that she put." I shrug. "I go out to eat a lot cause I can see what the food is named." My ears lower slightly in embarrassment. They had disappeared over night but popped out at the sight of breakfast. What can I say? I didn't eat dinner and was starving. I finished the meal quickly before cuddling up with Ren. I stare off into space, thinking for a while before a slight frown come across my face.

Ren kisses Ivory on the forehead "whats wrong babe" Ren asked with a little worry

I shake my head. "I've just been thinking about something ever... ever since you told me you loved me." I frown a little more before looking down, slightly ashamed of even needing to ask this but I had to know. I blurt out the question before I can lose my courage but then can't stop the words from spilling out. "How can you love me when you know so little about me? I mean, I know about three times as many things about you than you know about me, and I feel guilty because I don't want anyone, especially you to know some things about me and yet I ask questions about you that I'm sure you don't want to answer. So you say you love me and yet I can't understand how. And with the way I grew up it's really hard for me to trust people..." My voice cracks as a couple tears spill out. "I don't want to doubt you. I really don't, but every bone in my body is screaming at me that you can't love me. That you're lying. That I can't possibly be loved because..." I trail off for a moment before starting up again. "And I think I love you. I want to love you but I don't know what love is." I'm screaming by now but not at Ren, at myself. "And I hate myself. I hate myself for not being able to know my own feelings. If I can't know and understand my feelings how will anyone else ever understand?! I want to love you. And I don't want this to change our relationship or make you take it back. That is my biggest worry." I turn back to Ren, searching his face for that same something. "I worry you won't love me anymore." With that last sentence my voice sounds so meek and weak... and broken. My ears are flattened against my head and I draw my knees to my chest as I sob. I've run my hands through my hair countless times through this battle with myself and I can only imagine it must look horrendous. Ugly. That's it. I'm ugly. Ren's going to see it any minute. He's going to see through me. How did he break my wall? Why did I let him in? I can't do this......

Ren picks up Ivory and cradles her close to him "shhh its ok im not going anyware and ill never stop loving you, love has no boundreys race speacies nor age okayRen had intertwind his fingers with hers at this point "love is hard to explain Ivory , some people can go their entire lives without finding it some find it within a few years , its never the same with each person but when you find that person you will know Ren looks her in her eyes with no doubt about what hes saying "i found love Ivory , and that love was you"

I simply nod and bury my face in his shirt. I wish I had the nerve to just tell him I wasn't from here. It shouldn't be this hard it's just words. And yet every time I've tried to tell him the words get stuck and won't come out. He deserves to know what he's getting into but if I tell him he might want out. He did say he would never stop loving me... but he doesn't understand. If he knew.. I can't even think about if he knew. If he knew I'm positive he wouldn't be here. I wrap my arms around him, clinging to him for dear life. Because I know. He is my life.

Ren gets a idea in his head before asking "your worried if ill shun you from not being from earth huh" it was obvious to ren that she wasnt from earth hell if he had to count at least 15 % of jump citys poulas was from differnt wourlds "well i wont , the snake lady i have as a roommate at my safehouse would kick my ass if i did"

I freeze when he says this and look up at him. My lip still quivers but I blink my wide eyes a couple time before asking, barely able to believe what he's saying. "You, you won't?" I then bury my face into his shoulder and wrap him in a tight hug. I can barely talk but I manage to whisper "Thank you."

Ren hugs her close to his chest "and your right i bearly know anything about you , if your comfertable with sharing ill listen and i wont ever judge"

Purse my lips slightly, I don't really want him to know about my past, or anything about me really. But that was a big part of a relationship. Letting the other person in and letting them learn about you. Still I didn't feel like telling him my life's story. "Well... you can ask questions if you want..." I bite my lip and pull back from the hug. I hope I won't regret this.

Ren pauses for a moment "what was your childhood like and did you have a good time living with your parent's"

I nod. Of course that was the first thing he asked. I should have expected it. I sigh and dive in. "Well I didn't really have much of a childhood. My mother died during childbirth. My father attempted to raise me alone for several years, but when I was about 5 or so he.. left." I sigh and continue. "One of the reasons I don't know love is I've never seen examples of it. Since my father left I thought I was the problem. I thought, and still somewhat think, that I'm incapable of being loved because a father's love is unconditional and yet my father didn't love me. After he left the city I grew up in helped raise me in what they thought to be the right way, for I was supposed to be the most powerful warrior on the planet. I was raised on the battlefield and knew from the beginning I would grow up to be queen." I pause for a moment, looking to run to see what he thinks of all this before I continue.

Ren nodds his head and says "i had the same child hood minus the parents , since being created i was trained disciplined and forced to be the perfact soldier raised on the battle field my gun was my family my bullets my sibling the lives i claimed were my dreams , rens voice became shaky but i understand your childhood however mine was somthing i could not run from my duaghter Reina i killed her parents on a job but couldnt bring myself to kill her call it resentment call it guilt i dont know but i raised her thats when i seperated from renagade and became Ren however my past wouldnt stay buried as i couldnt stop my old squad mates from ending her im not person Ivory im a monster"

I shake my head and hug him once more. "You. Are not. A monster." I say simply. The whole time he had been talking I had simply listened. "Let me finish ok? You're not a monster. I believe that with all my heart. If you were a monster you would not have raised that little girl. If you were a monster you would not be here right now." I hug him tighter for a moment before pulling back. "I can.. continue if you want.."