Journal of H.A Mercier

01
First day...

I'm very excited to start my work at S.T.A.R.S Labs. Up till now, I've been blindly striking a match against the infinite darkness. No doubt I will start as an assistant to one of the senior researchers here. That is completely acceptable, I am confident they will be pleased with my work, and I will be well on my way to uncovering the secrets of the universe on my own. I am not the only fresh face, though I am perhaps the youngest of the group. Actually, I believe that I'm the youngest to ever be accepted into S.T.A.R.S to date. With that in mind, I suspect there will be greater expectations for me here then working under my father.

It's only been a year since he passed away. I have learned much from my father, both of the world and of scientific pursuit. However, I never noticed then how... tired he always looked. Not tired in an exhaustion sense, it was more like he was always holding something back from me. And he would always dodge certain questions regarding what it was like to work with other men and women who shared his ambitions. He would always change the subject, or give me a less then satisfactory answer. I fear I might be going straight into the lion's den.

Me and the other newbies have sort of... formed our own little group. I was kind of nervous meeting everyone, so I tried to break the ice with a joke. Only one of them seemed to sincerely laugh, the others just sort of laughed to be polite. Her name is Alice- like from Wonderland? She's pretty good with jokes too. We were joking around so much one of our colleagues told us to go get a room already. I was really embarrassed but anyone who can stand a bad joke has sincerity you don't mess with. Maybe I shouldn't worry too much about what my dad was keeping from me...

02
Expectations VS Reality...

It's been a few years now since I started working at S.T.A.R.S Physics department. I was well within my right to worry about what was in store for me. I always figured that I would be someone's assistant first and have to work my way up. But the work they had me doing was... menial to say the least. Observing scan results, taking down notes, running to get coffee- I'm not a temp! My only comfort is knowing I am not the only one dissatisfied with the way I am being treated, Alice has voiced her opinion on the matter aswell as ChANG, one of the oldest of our group.

I have actually had the chance to work alongside with ChANG on a few occasions. We did some collaboration on this substance called Xenothium, which holds interesting promise as an alternative power source if not for it's highly volatile nature. It's too soon to make any assumptions right now. But ChANG seems to think with time we could increase the output it creates. I am hesitant of this though because even from an initial study indicates doing so would also increase it's volatile nature. ChANG claims the risk is well worth the reward but I'm still not sure.

I watched a News Report recently of a "visit" from a spacefaring race. Details were sparse but I learned after some digging that they were called the Gordanians and they were in pursuit of a Tamaranean. I am thrilled by the knowledge that there are other civilizations out there. The older researchers are less then pleased, however given the circumstances of that encounter. I recall having a dream later about the place where it happened, Jumpcity. I feel as though this city has some kind of significance but I can't be sure on feeling alone. The fact that I had such a vivid dream makes me wonder. My father said I was special, that I was gifted. That's why he taught me magic. But is this all part of that?[/font]

03
Adapting to change...

How long has it been since I last wrote down my thoughts? Feels like it's been too long. So much has changed in a relatively short time. I've been married, had a beautiful daughter by the name of Francesca- my wife has taken to calling her Chessa after her favorite character the story of Alice in Wonderland. Ever since, Chessa has gotten good at playing hide and seek. At first I thought she was just really good at hiding. I was positive I heard her giggling in one place and went to find her. But when I got there I saw no indication that she had even been there. So I decided to try a little experiment. I was the one that went into hiding and when I heard her coming, I warped to another part of the house. I repeated this again when I heard her coming close, back to the first place. I could hear her displeasure, so I continued. However, the time I had to wait between warps got shorter and shorter. I knew this was not her just getting better at guessing where I was but also that she was actually keeping on my trail. The game ended after awhile when I found her completely passed out in the middle of the living room. Since then, she has taken to calling me a dirty cheater. Feels good when the shoe is on someone else's foot...


Moving along to more important matters, I have finally stepped out from beneath the shadows of my elders. I'm allowed some freedom to pursue research that catches my interest. Though I am usually slated to work on a team for a group project. Because of our relationship, me and Alice are usually working together, which is a great comfort to me. One of our former colleagues, now called, "Professor" ChANG hasn't been around for some time. I found out some interesting stuff about him. Apparently he was involved in some kind of secret project in Russia. Can't imagine what kind of project since it was work he had done before working at S.T.A.R.S. Not that it matters with the rumors I have been hearing about him lately. I was always cautious of working with him ever since we worked on refining Xenothium together.

Ever since the alien visitation, I have been keeping an eye and ear open for news from Jumpcity. I've been looking into my strange dreams and have simply concluded that I have ESP to an extent. Sadly, I don't fully remember what I dream so have taken to keeping a dream journal to try and retain as much information as I can. I still feel like Jumpcity is very significant to me somehow, but I still don't know why. For now I content myself with what little I can learn from news reports, traffic cameras- and eyewitness accounts. I think I may request a transfer in the near future. I'll have to talk to Alice about it sometime, which reminds me. She gave me some wonderful news! We're going to have a baby!

04
Harsh reality...

It's been a year since Alice's death. I am resigned to the fact I'll never be able to see her again, yet I cannot forget everything that led up to it. I had terrible dreams. Alice was in every one of them, dead or dying. Naturally I told her of my visions and she simply laughed them off, saying that I was just being paranoid. Even after telling her my secret, she still managed to be so carefree about it. At the time, it was easier for me believe- or atleast WANT to believe her. It wasn't like one reoccurring dream, it was a number of dreams which had the same message. Now that it's already happened and I'm older, I almost want to call it fate. But why did I deserve to be tormented in such a way? Why was I being forced to watch her die over and over again if there had been no way of saving her? No matter... since her death I have been given full access to her research in it's entirety.


Chessa and Daniel are doing better since then. It's kind of funny to see them together now, Chessa is barely over four feet while Daniel is already over five feet. Chessa has always been laid back growing up. She pretended that it didn't bother her too much but I knew better. You had to really know her by looking at her but it was there. I didn't think I would ever miss her puns. But Daniel has helped her alot. Even though he was grieving for her in his own way, he cared more about Chessa's feelings then his own. It's even worse for me, because I'm reminded of Alice everyday by watching the two of them. Chessa has her captivating eyes and playful nature, and Daniel has her compassion, and acceptance of all things.

Daniel's compassionate and innocent nature makes him the target of bullies though. Since my promotion, I've been busier then ever and can't always be there for them. Thankfully Chessa has been so caring of her little brother, I'm really proud of them both. I still remember one day when Daniel called me and asked me for help. He usually just endures it until he gets home, so the fact he was calling me was enough to concern me. I also want to state that I do not abuse my powers. But for this I was willing to make an exception, and I am not ashamed to admit to the feeling of... power I felt when I appeared before my son's tormentors. I didn't lay a finger on them, but sometimes you don't need to actually resort to force. Sometimes the mere threat of force is enough to get your message across.

Chessa has never let me live it down. Since then, she's claimed that Daniel wants to be a "superhero" like him. I was embarrassed but flattered he saw me like that. Though truthfully, I do not deserve that kind of praise. I now know what my dad had been keeping me in the dark about. Professor ChANG was just one of many examples of men and women of science following their own selfish desires. I was naive to think all scientists did what they did because they simply wanted to learn. As intelligent as I was, I was blinded to the truth because I had been an outsider. Now that I've been on the inside for so long, I know better. Atleast no one bullies Daniel any more. Apparently someone has been passing rumors around about their tough, "cool bro." Daniel has been taking martial arts now... as a father I am proud. But as a man who has had the tinted lenses removed, I am very concerned.

05
Greener Pastures...

These days I've been doing "salvage" work after the many superhero battles the average human being has to endure. I have finally relocated to Jumpcity for the time being to try and satisfy all of these burning questions I had. What made Jumpcity so special? That I would have dreams about it so often. What did it all mean? Daniel is thrilled to be going when he heard about the Teen Titans. I fear that he is starting to actually believe in the rumors his sister has been circulating about him. If she knows that I'm aware of her involvement she doesn't let on. Either way I've asked that she keep an extra close eye on him during out stay in Jump.


I have begun to understand what it is about Jumpcity that makes it so special. The Metahumans Research branch has so much data that I wished I had transferred sooner. There's too much to go over during such a short visit, so I requested they keep me up to date after I leave. I also can't begin to tell you how much cleanup there actually is in a city like Jump. Robotic Commandos? Ooze mutants, self-aware A.Is- Cinderblock golems? The Metahumans Research team are green with envy at the prison for their metahuman captives. But legally they can do nothing about it, which is good for the captives. Some of them are just kids! Others though... like Doctor LIGHT are just examples of mad men drunk with power.


This latest incident has me taking apart massive robotic worms with laser canons. I am presented with more questions from my stay here. Where did these things come from? Who built them? And how did their construction go unnoticed for so long? It took some doing, but I managed to find a name to some of these incidents. SlADE. I asked around but didn't get any further answers. All the name dug up was "rumors" of a military project, nothing else. It looks like I have still much to learn after all.

06
Rising Tension...

I received some interesting news since I left Jumpcity. The city has been completely evacuated due to the occupation by the same mad man who built those robotic worms I picked salvage from. Some satellite footage some time before also showed the Titans' Tower had come under attack. If I were to guess, based on the footage and the evidence of a superhuman accomplice, it appears to have been part of a plan. It all makes sense when you use that train of thought. I am glad that I left Jumpcity when I did, as I would hate to think that Daniel would try to be a hero and get himself killed.


Unfortunately, it is an incident like this that the higher ups are coming down on "pacifist" researchers like myself for not contributing anything "useful." They've strongly "requested" that I continue my research into refining Xenothium into a more powerful energy source. To add salt to the wound, they said if I didn't, they'd find someone to resume some of my late wife's research for military purposes. I have since kept her research under lock and key, so for them to threaten me like this... I cannot give into their demands. I cannot afford for them to learn my secrets any more then I can afford to let them butcher my wife's good intentions for their greedy paranoia.


Chessa says she and Danny will support me no matter what I do but that only makes it even harder for me. I need to buy time. It will take time before I am able to refine the Xenothium to the scale they are looking for. My intuition says that this is the right thing to do, and my intuition is very seldom wrong. In the mean time, I've started digging through Alice's old research for the very first time. I am not sad, going through her research. It's like getting to know her all over again, with nothing hidden from me. Maybe I'm just weird. Whatever my feelings are, I want to see her work to completion.

07
Interesting Developments...

It's been some time since I have heard my superior's "request" I do something to serve their own ambitions. There was a recent incident involving Professor ChANG. No one has all of the details, but there was a break in at a Xenothium Vault by a thief who had a red X emblazoned on his mask and upper body, and ChANG and his men. Reviewing the video feeds also reveals that one of the local titans, ROBIN was in pursuit of the former. After that the video cuts off which is about the time I'd estimate is when the actual theft took place. After that, eye witness reports seeing the Observatory firing lasers. I'm positive after this, they see that Xenothium on it's own is dangerous enough. Too bad for them that the government is cracking down on the usage of Xenothium. That is also bad news for me, as I had started to make some interesting progress.


It is only bad as I believe I can use refined Xenothium to assist in completing one of my wife's projects. I am still trying to make progress with finding a way to achieve what it was meant to do. I fear that in order to accomplish what I've set out to do, I'll need far greater power then is possible in our era. I suppose I could try a different project. This one caught my eye when I was looking through it. I've never heard of people being called by inanimate objects, yet that is how it feels. Chessa has volunteered to help me out anyway she can, to which I am grateful. Daniel is quickly growing up, though I still worry that his "enthusiasm" will get him into trouble one of these days.

08
Moving Forward...

So as I mentioned in one of my other logs, I've requested the Metahuman Research Branch keep me in the loop with any interesting news or breakthroughs they come across. This time, all I had to do was watch a satellite video feed. One of the latest mad men to face the titans tried to destroy Jumpcity with a giant wave. I am just making an educated guess without actually knowing the details, but I believe he used some kind sound amplification device. The Titans thwarted him, as expected. And I could almost hear my colleagues talking about what they'd do when they got their hands on some of that tech. I almost did actually hear their outrage when the government was already on the scene for "clean up."


I have started to finally make some progress, both with the Xenothium refinement and my project for my late wife. I approached the government with my intentions to refine Xenothium into a reliable, alternative energy source. I have high hopes that they will accept. The question is... how far am I willing to go to achieve this goal. I am already guilty of turning a blind eye to what is going on around me. Just because I personally don't follow any of their practices, does not absolve me of all wrong doing. But what can I do? I am just one man against a global organization, I would be against the entire world in a sense. It's too soon to commit career suicide.

09
Weird dreams...

I'm visiting the Psionics Research branch of S.T.A.R.S labs, where I have overseen experiments and tests to not only prove the existence of psionic phenomena, but also determine it's relation to humans and it's development. Anytime I hear something related to "psychics" I instantly think of Firestarter or Carrie. But we're not talking about something fictional here. It is a very real thing. With villains like BROTheR BLOod, and PsIMON, there's little room to doubt the existence of Psychic potential. Speaking of- I heard from the Metahumans Research Branch that the titans are tracking him all the way to Steel City. Apparently, they're starting another team over there for when BLOOD pops up again. One news reporter was very quick to cast this in a negative light, ungrateful cretin. It is people like that which I fear for Daniel trying to actually become a superhero. I would not be able to handle someone tearing him down like that.

Something did stick out in my mind during my visit here however. I overheard from some of the test subjects rambling on about a "Vanishing." Something about forgetting what we know now- most of it was lost in their ramblings. Why this struck me as strange was the fact I had been having a series of recurring dreams that related to this. I have long established to myself that I have ESP, as I have been able to see things that have happened, are happening, or may happen. Seeing Alice die over and over in my dreams... is a perfect example of this. I must do what I can to learn everything I can about this "Vanishing."

10
A Bad Dream...

I'm not sure what happened. One moment I was analyzing some energy readings a colleague had been interested in. Initially, I didn't think much on the readings but decided to take a look for myself. What we analyzed was unlike anything we'd encountered. And then there was silence. It was very unsettling to be working one moment, only to have your entire being completely frozen the next. Only, not all of me was frozen. My mind... wandered. I think it was the first time I had ever had an out of body experience during the day. As I felt my mind wander, I bore witness to all my colleagues- no, ALL LIFE on earth, turned to stone. All I could do was look on, and question what could have possibly done this? Once again, my mind turned toward Jumpcity.


But then just like that, it was over. I can't explain it, though I appear to be the only one who is even remotely aware that anything happened at all. Maybe nothing DID happen, or maybe something WILL happen. So as to sort of prove to myself that they were fine, I texted Chessa and Daniel. They were fine. I still feel chilled from the vision I saw...

11
Giant space baby lets one rip...

Something is... different. I can't put a finger on it, much less even begin figuring out what changed. Everything just seems "new" to me. It's almost as if I woke from a long sleep. I'm not the only one who feels this way, Chessa has compared it to "all the universe's problems being released in a single burst... or maybe a giant space baby let one rip." Sometimes I wonder where her mind is at sometimes but go along with it. No matter how it feels, I have not found anything to be out of the ordinary. I have been having some dreams lately of something I feel is coming.

In my dreams I see death all around me. Men, women, children- dead or dying. At first I assumed I was on Earth but, last time I checked humans didn't have glowing emblems on the backs of their hands. The buildings also appear to be far more advanced in appearance then anything we could make today, though I will not rule out the possibility that this is a far future for mankind. The death that I see seems to be being caused by a plague of some kind. I can't be for sure, as I am merely observing this as an outsider. I should write this down...

12
Errors...

A full investigation is currently underway throughout S.T.A.R.S Labs. As I mentioned in my previous log, I went to write down what I remembered of my latest dream series. I found a great deal of blank pages that I cannot explain. I'm not even sure why the number of blank pages I have was cause for alarm at first, but the simple fact that the gap between entries was enough reason for me. I have been keeping a dream journal for years now, so it stands to reason that I should logically have more pages filled then I do. It also made no sense why an intruder would tamper with my journal of all things they could have done, so I checked my personal logs and found numerous... errors pertaining to certain people or things. The errors are small in scale, but they make up for this by the sheer number of my logs which suffer from this error.

So I requested the Metahumans Research Branch go over their data files for me, and after a few days they got back to me. The same errors I had found in my logs were rampant throughout their data. In addition to this, many of their workers have reported that they have more storage space then they remember. This concern stemmed from their checking for written documents that might have been tampered with. It was like someone completely erased themselves out of existence. Only it's not just one single person, but any unknown number of people. The only lead I have to follow comes from Log 09, where a word in particular stands out to me. "Vanishing." As I recall, I never could uncover the significance of that word. Was this really what they were talking about? I'm planning on paying the Psionics Research Branch a visit as soon as possible, once this all settles down.

13
Rebuilding...

Everyone on Earth has felt the effects of the "Zydon" attack in some way. Even we here at STARS have suffered losses. Damages to property or projects, death of personnel- I hear STARS Administration has some new positions available. I have also heard that I am being considered for one of those open positions. If I were to get one, I'd have some more freedom to do as I want. Or so I would like to think atleast. The fact none of the remaining administrators have done anything worth mention could be evidence of the opposite effect.


Out of this tragedy, I hear some labs are using Zydon corpses for their biological experiments. Tempted as I may be to see what makes them tick or gives them their powers, I cannot bring myself to do so now. It just doesn't feel right to me. Most of my colleagues don't seem to mind. Their tech however is a different matter that I have made a point to study in detail. I am most interested in their star ships, even if there isn't one fully intact. The local government has since been confiscating anything Zydon related. California is now it's own country, which I find interesting considering the rest of the U.S didn't put up much of a fight against the idea. I wonder how this new government will play out.

14
New Management...

This new governing body seems to have taken hold for good. In the past under American control, STARS operated just fine. But it sounds like to me that there might be new problems arising for STARS operated facilities within California. I have recently been promoted to an administration position and now have more power to do what I want. Unfortunately this mostly pertains to bureaucratic concerns and less on scientific ones. I just started the position but am already longing to be back in the labs actually doing research.

The only consolation is that the promotion means I'm making more then enough money to constantly move my family from place to place. They've gotten used to the idea of never being in one place too long, though Daniel seems to be suffering for it more. I've gone out of my way to make sure he manages to stay in contact with the friends he's made over our frequent moves. Chessa seems to have become... apathetic to it all and more often then none I've caught her just sleeping. This isn't healthy behavior so I and Daniel have tried to take steps to help Chessa cope. I don't have the time to these days, so I hope Daniel keep her company.

15
Troubling matters...

This log is being written some time after the Russian attacks against California. Based on some of these reports I've received, many in STARS believe the "clones" reportedly used by the Russians are somehow involved in the matter of corrupted or lost data. Nobody seems to know who the clones were cloned from, though something about them seems familiar. No on can explain it, even I am still trying to wrap my head around it after following up on my lead awhile back at the Psionics Branch.

This "Vanishing" that I recall, appears to be some kind of strange phenomena of unknown origin. As the name implies, it marks the vanishing of... something or someone. It seems too soon to claim that these clones and The Vanishing are connected somehow. But I'm not going to rule out the possibility just yet either. My colleagues are more then happy to dissect these specimens to learn more, and again I cannot bring myself to do so for the simple reason it feels wrong. Clone or not, I don't want any part in this macabre practice.