The World Nobody Asked For [Open]

The Land Of Steve, it is a silly place where fantasy and whimsy come to hide from the gritty, boring, overdone, predictably dour, and overall unappealing troubles of the "real world." But what is a world? A miserable little pile of secrets. But enough talk, HAVE AT YOU!

The city of New Home- not a very clever name by any means or stretch of Steve imagination, but Fasilli didn't pick it. The Steves picked it after a unanimous decision involving polls, rock paper scissors, cards- tag, and various other things which any other time would've been a waste of time; it was still a giant waste of time when all it took was one Steve to make the suggestion, and every other Steve to agree that it felt like the best name to call their new home. It was later discovered or atleast some Steves realized that they thought that they were naming the WHOLE world, and not just their little Stevelization. Oops!

New Home was the primary settlement of all Steves, and had inexplicably become a dizzying array of towering buildings of ramshackle design. There wasn't a whole lot going on, so Steves had to rely on bringing in supplies and materials from other worlds to build their little homes and places of Steve business. The size of the city is actually very misleading, and not an accurate representation of how many Steves ACTUALLY lived here. The reason for that was very simple- some Steves had so much fun building, that they made it their hobby to continue adding onto the already sprawling spires of Steve architecture. There was still a good number of Steves that lived there, mostly The Steves that either enjoyed building, or the ones that enjoyed living in a "real life" lego city of colorful but mismatched building materials and different design styles. There was also some Steves which simply liked exploring the city, finding lost and forgotten relics back from the long long ago! That is what the city mostly became once The Steves diversified and developed their own little communities, and decided that this town wasn't big enough for them.

This was also where The Big Boss himself, Fasilli "lived" for lack of a better word when he wasn't running around other worlds and dimensions, causing chaos and generally making a mess of everything for other people. Fasilli was enjoying some time off from causing mayhem in one such world- a boring place were teens were titans or something, it smelled of mediocrity and started getting infested with doom, gloom and edginess. Truly it was a terrible timeline, and his Steves had no business there. But some Steves insisted and had migrated there ever since they brought Winter to one of the little provinces- the home of these so called adolscent titans. Fasilli was actually outside of his home in the "central plaza" that most Steves simply called "The Doughnut Center" for how it very loosely resembled a doughnut from a bird's eye view.

Fasilli's home looked as flamboyant as he did, and looked more like a theatre than a home but that suited him just fine as he enjoyed a cup of tea whilst reading one of the various little news articles that the locals had taken to printing out. Was less about what was going on in THIS town and more about what was going on... mostly everywhere else- including other worlds entirely! Fasilli looked up from his paper at the gathering of Steves which had inexplicably built up at one of the little "recruitment" stands set up by the recently self commissioned "Supreme Commanding Officer" Steve, one of the more aggressive Steves who actively saught to take over worlds for Steves to live in aswell as bring stuff back here. For some reason more Steves had taken to trying to sign up these days, and apparently there was two entire Steve characters? Fasilli wasn't going to question it and continued to enjoy his tea.

Travis stood in the center off a road, looking at city that stretched out before him in confusion. He had no idea how he ended up in what he could only describe as a children's story book world. He only remembered that a few panicked park goers decided to shove him out in front of a bus when they found out he was basically a walking corpse.
"Maybe-," He began to think out loud as he shuffled down one of the roads curiously, watching out for others who may be around, "Maybe I finally died?" He frowned at the idea. But, would that make this heaven or hell? It sure didn't match either description.
He started to hear a commotion and figured the best way to sort things out would be to ask some one. Even if to them it was a rather stupid question. He wandered into what looked like a main hub of the town, pulling his scarf over most of his face, then shoved his right hand into his pocket to hide the features that set people off.
"Excuse me?" He asked of the group in his best kind ol' grandpa voice, hoping at least one would decide to be the good samaritan, "can one of you please help me? I don't know where I am."

*yep, play up the good ol' helpless grandpa game* he thought to himself, *no one likes to turn down the sweet old people... hopefully*

"Grandpa" would quickly and suddenly realize two things. The first was that the "people" he was addressing were all barely three feet tall, with one or two odd exceptions but those exceptions looked dressed for spelunking or old fashioned deep mining. The second thing was that they were ALL roughly dressed in a similar fashion; almost hoodie-like tops that covered their mitten or nub-like hands, some kind of pants and little boots. They also all wore the same plain white mask with three holes. The exceptions as mentioned were dressed like miners or spelunkers with little pickaxes, backpacks and candle lit miner helmets.

They all collectively looked up at him and blinked. Then one made sounds which could only be described as honks and squeaks. Clearly Travis was no longer in Kansas, and he stuck out like a sore thumb so much that the little creatures started to flock around him with excitedible honks and squeaks. To the untrained ear, all of The Steves were surprised and excited that there was another non-Steve here and were bombarding him with questions.

Fasilli arched an eyebrow behind his own mask and finished his tea at the sight before standing up and starting to make his way over. "HELLO GOOD SIR- WHO ARE YOU AND HOW DID YOU GET HERE? WAS IT STEVE?" Fasilli spoke through his amplification cane, which drowned out and startled the Steve horde into a more mute Steveing. Now it was easier to have an actual conversation.

Travis looked at the group of what he assumed where costumed children and gave a soft smile, "Oh, I'm sorry. Uh, where are your par-" Travis couldn't finish his question though as one began to make odd noises, "I'm... sorry, I don't understand- whoa- wait, uh," he quickly realized something was not quite right when they were all making the strange honks and squeaks though and became even more worried when they began to swarm around him. He hurriedly put his more human hand up to his scarf to hold it in place, afraid one may try to tug at it. He was just about to....well, he didn't really know what, but he was being mobbed by squeaky toy children after arriving in a strange and weird place that he was now sure was purgatory.
He decided that running would be a good idea when suddenly a new person turned up, someone who was much taller and seemed to have a good bit of authority if the sudden silence was anything to go by.

Travis cleared his throat as the initial panic he felt settled, "hello, I'm Travis. I'm sorry but I seem to have gotten lost. Where are we?" He tried to adopt the gentle grandpa tone again, though he was obviously a bit more aware that this place could quickly turn weird.

Oh it could always get weirder in Steve Land, and if more of the little masked creatures appearing in cheesy poofs of ninja smoke wasn't an indication- nothing would be! "Good question! This here is called 'the doughnut center plaza' by The Steves!" Fasilli would begin as the gas mask wearing Steve at the little enlistment stand watched Travis with only slight monotone- no wait... he was asleep. That explains the lack of warning sirens going off.

"But where are my manners? Forgive me, normally it is I who tresspass where he doesn't belong but that is no excuse! I am the Maestro of Mischief, the enchanter of the elements and audiences, the pleaser of crowds and the host with the most- I AM FASILLI!" Fasilli began to introduce himself in as flamboyant a manner as feasible. But this also revealed another very important but subtle fact, that because Fasilli was being so expressive, a stage seemed to erupt from the ground and spotlight seemed to beam down in dramatic fashion as he introduced himself. Then the multi-layered stage tilted into a slope and Fasilli slid down and struck a pose infront of a portable neon sign that had his name flashing behind him; the sign was being held up by Steves. Much Steve clapping was had as the sign fell over from the Steves losing their strength, exploding into confetti.

"I've no idea how you found your way here- but somehow, somewhere you REALLY took a wrong turn at Albuquerque my friend. This world here is simply called Steve Land, a place I built with my own two hands for these little ones that you see before you," Fasilli continued paying what may have been Steve-based temporary death no mind as he picked up a Steve that was somehow even smaller, a veritable Smol Steve and placed him in the brim of his tophat.

Stevie was busy Playing UNO with the other troopers when the newcomer arrived. one of his eyes...eyeholes? mask holes lower half in a more *what the?* look before setting down the cards and grabbing a can of water with a straw before waddling over there before removing his mask to pull a fire extinguisher out of his hammerspace before putting his mask back on and hosing down the area where the neon sign fell over.

both mask holes half-closed in a more annoyed/bored look he gazed to Fasilli before saluting him and making a series of honks and squeaks before glancing towards the newcomer again and waddling towards him. the *helpful Stevie honks* would be what exit its mask as it tugs on the old man's leg before offering him said can of water with a straw.

The other nearby Troupers would look up from their game, mostly watching the old man but also seeing what Stevie was doing. "Go fish," one Steved, taking his turn.

"We're not playing Go Fish," the trouper across from the other Steve said.

"Isn't fighting fires your job? Also please stop burning the cards..." Another Trouper Steved to a Trouper wearing a firefighter's helmet.

"I'm on break... and no," The Scorching Steve Trouper Steved, holding a few singed cards in his nubs. All of this would come off to Travis as more honks and squeaks.

"Yes, hello Steve," Fasilli greeted the Spooky Stevie.

"Can we show him around boss?" A Steve from The Steve Swarm Steved.

"MAYBE! Isn't there one of you that whose job that is? Or has Steve not returned from the boring world with all of the super people?" Fasilli replied thoughtfully, and technically there was definitely one or two Steves that were red. However, none of them were THAT Steve.

"Haven't seen em!" A Steve honked, then the ground started to rumble as even more Steves started to hastily pour into the plaza from a different direction. There were SO MANY! But they appeared to have been pulling... wagons? Carts? Basically they were hauling what would be revealed to be various and randomly assorted building materials.

"OH HOW LUCKY! It's one of the Stevectects! Oh gods, tis the one with the accent!" Fasilli declared as the faint sound of bagpipes seemed to play in the distance.

"Daes this leuk like the place tae be stopping?" A taller and "stockier" looking Steve with a hard hat barked with a heavy accent. "Rome wasnae built i a day ye lazy, guid for nothin slackers!" Upon slightly closer inspection, or at least after a moment to actually look at them, this was actually a Stephanie- the easiest indication of that was what appeared to be a tuft of orange-ish hair poking out between the space between their mask and hood.

"But the city's done already! Why do we need to add onto it?" A Steve whined.

"Oh, now ye're talkin back tae me now huh? A guess ye wonae want any jellybeans then for doin the job A gave ye," she retorted angrily.

"Ack! No! I want Jellybeans!"

Some of the other stockier looking Steves that had gathered around Travis seemed to disperse, waddling their way over to the newcomers with the obvious intent to help. This again would come off to Travis as intelligible honks and squeaks, and yet definitely was reminded of Scottland when the Stephanie berrated one of her workers.

Travis hesitantly took the can of water and studied it for a moment, almost sure it would also burst into confetti or some other magic trick transformation. Oh jeez, just what he would need, to take a sip only for a dove to suddenly find himself sucking on the birds head....
He shuddered at that involuntary thought, but looked down at the... Steve, he assumed was the names of all these 'children' now, and gave a nervous thanks. He then turned back to Fasilli and watched as he conversed with the odd creatures.
"So... you understand those sounds they make?" He questioned, watching the groups of cart pulling... Steves gather. Was that a name or a species?

Stevie would respond to Fasilli with "Its Stevie, And if you wouldn't mind could I tag along to tour with the newcomer?" to anyone who doesn't speak Steve, Stevie just made a lot of honks. Almost as if he forgot something he waddled back over to where he was playing Uno to spray the Scorching Steve Trouper with the fire extinguisher like an owner would a cat before removing his mask and putting the extinguisher into the void before putting his mask back on. "please stop trying to burn the cards this is the second deck I've had to replace because of you."

"ACK! IT'S COLD NUUUUUU!" The Scorching Steve exclaimed dramatically, rolling around like he was having a seizure until ALSO being pelted by a spray of water from one of the other players.

"It's not THAT bad ya fizzle head!" The Soaking Steve Steved.

"YES IT IS DRIPPY!" The Scorching Steve Steved hotly, steam billowing out of his snout. To which the Soaking Steve rolled his eye holes.


"That's what I said, Steve," Fasilli replied to Stevie before returning his focus to Travis. "Yes," Fasilli answered Travis in the least helpful manner imaginable.

Stocky Steves continued to assist the little caravan of Steves, moving stuff along. "In any case, I shall have to chaparone you- as I'm the only one here that can translate for you. That and WHO KNOWS what kind of shenanigans you might accidentally find yourself in if you're not careful. STEVE! Transportation!" Fasilli called out, and a random Steve in the Steve crowd would quickly scurry away for a moment, returning with one of those movie tour mobile things... bowling through Steves in the process.

"Nice touch Steve," Fasilli added, referring to the paint job and redesign that The Steves had done to it- barely hinting at where it may have come from the back as Fasilli hopped into the front. "All aboard!" Fasilli and The Steve driver waited as some Steves started to hop on.

Scottish Sounding music was still nearby as the caravan started to move on from the plaza to places unknown, surely there wouldn't be any bumping into them again later.