Teen Titans Legacy
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Teen Titans Legacy

A RPG (Role Playing Game) based shortly after the original Teen Titans TV series. Choose or create a character and get stuck in the action!
 
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 Synthosis (Moon)

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Moon
Procrastination Queen
Moon


Posts : 4911
Join date : 2012-01-22
Age : 72

RPG character
Name:
Code Name:
Villain or good guy?: Good

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PostSubject: Synthosis (Moon)   Synthosis - Synthosis (Moon) Icon_minitimeMon Jan 23, 2012 2:26 pm

Synthosis - Synthosis (Moon) Moon12


===IDENTITY===

Full Name:Moon Xarcak
Codename: Synthosis
Nickname(s): None
Age:15
Birth date: 4-4-1996
Classification:Alien
Affiliation: Good


===PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION===


Hair Color: Silver (hip length)
Eye Color: Black
Height: 5.8
Weight:103
Other: Has scars on wrists from chains (from being slave) slim but strong. She won't give up in a fight to save people.

===POWERS===


Powers:
Flight: she can fly up to 75 MPH

Energy: she can harness energy and put it to her feet to climb trees

Telekinesis: can move things with her mind, from a piece of sand to a Semi truck. she can do this when the Semi truck is moving but she can't move it if it's going over 100mph. she's not strong enough.

intangibility: the abiltiy to move through solid objects. She has to concentrate and she doesn't have the ability to use any other power of hers. She can't go through water because it isn't a solid. Sometimes to move through objects it takes longer then others but usually it is quick. Only Ice can stop her from doing this, Other powers will go straight through her. she can only stay in this form for 10-20 minutes and when she stops she has to wait 10 minutes to go back and do it again. The more she uses the power in one day the more weak she becomes. She can't use any powers when she is in this form, only combat skills.


Weaknesses:
Ice Diamond: Causes Moon to loose her memory. The sonic vibes inter fear with her memory which makes her loose it. you simply have to point it at her or get 25ft close to her to inter fear with her memory. the closer you get the more memory she loses. the only way to get her memory back is by injecting shock waves through her (by shocking her)in till every thing makes sense.

Ice: When she touches ice or becomes frozen it paralyses her (whole body) for a long period of time. If she simply is too cold she becomes slower then faints and becomes paralyzed. Anything that is cold makes her slower (food too) so she stays in side during winter and sleeps. To heal this all you have to do is make her really warm (or hot) . if she becomes paralyzed all you have to do is leave her in hot water for a few days (with breathing air) and she will wake up on her own.

===PSYCHOLOGICAL PROFILE===


Likes: People, Tea, Quietness, destroying the enemy, A new video game, Jokes, training, Flying, the peace of friends, feeling loved, personal space.


Dislikes:Kids (she will still help them though) People crying. villains, annoying people, losing in a fight, people snooping through her stuff, bother her privacy, being tricked.


Strengths: Her being smart, flexibility, she can catch on quickly. she is fast! If she wants to she can listen and follow instructions perfectly.


Skills: she is very smart, she can out fox you.
Flexibility: flexible enough she can lift her leg to her head, it also means she can do many back flips, cartwheels, splits, and other stuff a regular gymnast can do.
Fight: trained herself to fight, she also watches a teen titan battle and watched how she preforms.

Equipment: one grapple, a disk that flies and un wraps to a rope. a flying disk bomb.and a dagger.

Habits/Quirks: When she hurts someone she feels guilty. She doesn't like children... at all!



Personality: Moon is nice to people she knows but you have to push her to do stuff. she will completely lock you out if you don't let her get to know you. basically she isn't afraid of doing the wrong thing for the right uses. She will lock you out if your on her bad side and she is always ready for a fight. watching people cry makes her mad.she is very strong and her powers are very powerful.


===PERSONAL BACKGROUND===


Family: Secrom (Dad), Syomi (Mom), Arevi (Sister) Ravi (Brother)
Place of Origin: A Planet Destroyed Named ReRock, Home of the Moon people.
Current City: JumpCity
History:when she was 7 her planet was being attacked so she had to fight for it. her powers weren't completely developed so she could barley fight. her planet lost and she was taken as a slave. She had to work for the other aliens by cleaning for them cooking, or making there clothes. They always had her in chains on her wrists mostly or her ankles. she was sold 6 times as a slave, all in a four year time span. she broke free when she was 11 and high jacked a jet and flew to earth. ever sense then she watched how the teen titans acted like family and how hard they worked. one day she saw that a teen titan was beating a bad guy but had to leave because a child was in danger that he could have took care of himself. ever sense then she didn't like children. she now trains so she can be a hero and have a family sense she doesn't know her real one.


Sample RP: "Back off!" She exclaimed chains pinching her wrists. The young girl got up and ran off and soon found herself surrounded by a group of unknown aliens.

“Where do you think your going?” The Blue alien on the left said with an electric whip held firmly in his hand.

“Well, I’m not staying here!” She said with a smirk. The girl Ran off the other direction and soon found herself in the area where they hold jets and planes. Sense she didn’t know how to fly yet she ran to the nearest black jet and climbed to the top. She got in, shut the door, put on the seat belt and said “I hope I can do this!” She looked at the buttons “There must be thousands!” She exclaimed. She hit the blue button that said “Start” and the engine turned on. She grasped the steering wheel and took off with a simple push of the petal.

The jet was flying smoothly and everything was okay except, she had no idea where she was going. She looked to the right and then to the left. With no idea shat was going to happen next she took a left. She saw a planet, it was green and blue. She took her chances and soon found herself in the atmosphere of where she was going to spend the rest of her life in “Earth”



Last edited by Moon772 on Fri Jul 20, 2012 1:08 pm; edited 17 times in total
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PostSubject: Re: Synthosis (Moon)   Synthosis - Synthosis (Moon) Icon_minitimeMon Jan 23, 2012 5:33 pm

You have one too many powers first off an no real weaknesses. I need at least two real weakness (being stubborn isnt a weakness it's a mood) like Superman having Kryptonite, ya know something that can hurt her or stop her powers.

Your powers:

Flight - How fast can you fly?

Telekinesis - Whats the heaviest thing you can move?

Possession - Can you possess everyone and anything or only weakened enemies or humans

Allusions - Can you cause people to hurt themselves with this and with your possession can you make people hurt themselves without any harm to you. In addition, can you move while doing these two. Also, does this equal mind control and can you read minds with it?

Super Speed - how much faster are you and do you mean fast reflexes or running they're not the same thing.

^ That's one too many, I suggest getting rid of the speed because it doesn't fit with your power set and will be the hardest to get approved. Fix this stuff and Ill take another look.

Affiliation means are you good or evil btw and for classification you would put alien because it means what are you and shes from a different planet.
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PostSubject: Re: Synthosis (Moon)   Synthosis - Synthosis (Moon) Icon_minitimeMon Jan 23, 2012 9:25 pm

Ummm try taking all of that and adding it to your actual App and by that I mean edit the first post. People need to be able to see your edits; that's kind of whole point and they're not going to scroll down to a whole new app each time you make one. So if you would please go back to your first post from now on and press the edit button and make changes there that would be greatly appreciated, but to save time I'll do it for you this once.

Ok, so for possession that's way too powerful. Shorten that to maybe a couple of hours to a few minutes if the person is healthy (Not injured, sick, or weak), also there should be a way to stop you from possessing them and by "there should be a way" I mean a common way. Which means it can't be a nearly impossible way to stop you; like having some kind of magic crystal shouldn't be it. Usually here we put people with strong wills can resist your influence over them or they can only possess animals, or humans, etc. The 24 hour thing might fly with weak minded people, I could see it happening thing, but at same time can you move your character's physical body while they're possessed or have to stay still?

The Weakness section I think you thought I meant an actual type of kryptonite lol that was a metaphor. What I meant was that you need a weakness that can hurt or stop you. Not an actual space rock like superman. Not only that you need more than one, plus you need to state what it actually does to your character that's bad for them. For example, since you don't have enhanced strength or super speed anymore you can put she can be hurt like any normal human and that would be good, also that space rock negates her powers and that would be a pretty good weakness set. Especially if your possession isn't so powerful. However, uhh making your weakness hard to come by (only can use rock if it's in -25 degrees?) will only make this app harder to approve. You need weaknesses to get approved here, so I suggest making it much more easier for others to use on you.

Everything else seems ok, but your telekinesis being powerful enough to lift a semi shouldn't be every other post ok? Make that is like the maximum and with quite a bit of difficulty.

One other thing, you need to change your history; she's not a Teen Titan until we accept you, sorry.
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Moon
Procrastination Queen
Moon


Posts : 4911
Join date : 2012-01-22
Age : 72

RPG character
Name:
Code Name:
Villain or good guy?: Good

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PostSubject: Re: Synthosis (Moon)   Synthosis - Synthosis (Moon) Icon_minitimeTue Jan 24, 2012 5:43 am

Yes sir! Oh and thanks for all of the pointers and the help.


Last edited by moon772 on Tue Jan 24, 2012 6:03 am; edited 1 time in total
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Moon
Procrastination Queen
Moon


Posts : 4911
Join date : 2012-01-22
Age : 72

RPG character
Name:
Code Name:
Villain or good guy?: Good

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PostSubject: Re: Synthosis (Moon)   Synthosis - Synthosis (Moon) Icon_minitimeTue Jan 24, 2012 5:46 am

Habits/Quirks: When she hurts someone she feels guilty. She doesn't like children.

(Sorry, forgot to change that.)
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Emblem
Infinimagus on Fire
Infinimagus on Fire
Emblem


Posts : 925
Join date : 2009-08-27
Location : The Netherlands

RPG character
Name:
Code Name: Emblem
Villain or good guy?: Good

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PostSubject: Re: Synthosis (Moon)   Synthosis - Synthosis (Moon) Icon_minitimeTue Jan 24, 2012 5:49 am

Dear Moon,

Whilst I know JaK is reviewing your application, one small piece of advice: MAke it one post. Edit your previous post and make all the changes. Posting your profile over and over again isn't going to make things easier, as well as be very confusing when it's added to the Roster after approval.

Kind Regards,

Emblem
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Moon
Procrastination Queen
Moon


Posts : 4911
Join date : 2012-01-22
Age : 72

RPG character
Name:
Code Name:
Villain or good guy?: Good

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PostSubject: Re: Synthosis (Moon)   Synthosis - Synthosis (Moon) Icon_minitimeTue Jan 24, 2012 5:57 am

Okay, I see the edit button.. Thanks.
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PostSubject: Re: Synthosis (Moon)   Synthosis - Synthosis (Moon) Icon_minitimeTue Jan 24, 2012 7:36 am

You didn't fully re-edit everything I told you...You still need to remove part from history about you being a Teen Titan. As I've said before that needs to go. Please pay attention to what I'm saying in the future because it's a waste of time and energy for me to have to re-type this part of my message.

-------

Ok, I'm sorry but I'm so confused by your weaknesses...You got the part where you needed to explain what they do to your character, but how do I use lava to stop you from flying...O_O!?! Better question, where would I get lava from in an Eastern City?? Same for the diamond, actually, how do I use that to stop you? Do I chuck it, hold it up to you, shoot you with it?

Again, you should make these weaknesses of yours easier to come by and try to make them power specific because lava was a bit random and I really don't even get why it would stop you from flying? If anything it should just kill you the old fashioned way of burning one to death, correct? Also, the more of them you add the better chance I'll approve you. As it stands right now, this App. approval could take quite a while especially with how powerful you've made her.

Try to be as descriptive as possible.

Also, I see you upgraded your telekinesis power...That's a bit too powerful now. Semi-truck I can give you, but moving an entire train and I'm guessing, since you didn't specify, that she can do it while it's moving to!? (This is why I ask that you be as descriptive as possible) That's WAYYY too powerful, yet again and I'll have to ask that you tone it down.

Quote :
she can harness energy and put it to her feet to climb trees.

^ This part of your app should be switched with the Fighting and flexibility part of your powers. Those are more skills than actual powers, while climbing trees like a ninja using energy is more of a power.

Now as for you other powers; you again made the mistake of not answering one of my questions really. You didn't state if she can move her actual physical body during possession and also failed to state how she even possesses another person, now that I think about it. Does she astral posses them, mentally posses them, physical move her body intangibly into them? Again, this is where being descriptive can help a lot. Also, the power is till too powerful in general; letting one's guard down doesn't make any sense because if I'm not looking at you that can be presumed as letting one's guard down.

As it is right now I'm thinking you really shouldn't have the power of possession because I'm starting to feel you're really going to have an issue in roleplays with it. For example, you stated that she can posses people until they force her to leave...How do I force you to leave; mentally battle you, tell you to go away? Not to mention you're saying you could hurt them while doing this, which means you could possibly slit their throat. I'm sorry but as of right now I don't really feel you're qualified to have this power and actually would like to ask you to remove it. Maybe add speed back instead and look into possession in the future maybe when you're more versed with the site, but as a mod it's my job to protect against godmodding and I just see you having a huge issue with this. Especially since you're new and probably won't even know how other people's powers work.

Finally, your allusion power doesn't make sense; you say she can't harm you with it, but said that she can make you believe you hurt yourself or that you're dead. Well making someone believe they're dead is kind of impossible, because how would she know what the afterlife is like. Also, what if the character is already dead like a demon? Additionally, if she can't harm me, why would I think I hurt myself when I don't feel any pain from the injury.

Yet, again another power that needs refining and definition, but I'd be more willing to work on you with this one instead of the possession. For allusion power, please state how people can resist or realize it's an allusion or maybe what kinds of people can resist it, to be more specific. Also, maybe just making you see things would make more sense than making you believe you did things, because if I don't own guns and hate them, the chances I'd believe I shot anyone are pretty low.

(((PS. This is just a suggestion and by no means do you have to add it since it is your character, but something that might go well with your powerset is intangibility AKA the abiltiy to move through solid objects. It's kind of a standard alien power and if you write that your character can only do it when concentraiting and cannot use her other powers while using the abiltiy to turn intangible, I can almsot guarentee you once we get Allusion and Telekinesis squared away that you'll be approved much easier. However, this again is just a suggestion of something I noticed that is close to posession in a sorts, but not quite.)))
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Moon
Procrastination Queen
Moon


Posts : 4911
Join date : 2012-01-22
Age : 72

RPG character
Name:
Code Name:
Villain or good guy?: Good

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PostSubject: Re: Synthosis (Moon)   Synthosis - Synthosis (Moon) Icon_minitimeTue Jan 24, 2012 7:45 pm

I see what you mean on how the allusion is hard to get and if i can't get approved I will remove it. If you want to try to understand it more pm me.
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PostSubject: Re: Synthosis (Moon)   Synthosis - Synthosis (Moon) Icon_minitimeTue Jan 24, 2012 9:15 pm

Why would I PM you? I understand how the allusion power works, but you misunderstand that it needs to be clear to everyone not just me on THIS application. Pm'ing you doesn't solve the issue at all, it has to be made clear on here. It's actually looking a lot better, but that pain section is still rather confusing.

The problem is that you clearly don't really understand how it works. Because you can't make people think they're hurt if there's no pain, O_O otherwise you're just presenting the image and they'll figure it out. By definition you provide the first piece to the puzzle they need to figure out to get out of of said allusion when they realize something is wrong when there's no burning sensation from their bullet wound or something like that lol.

Additionally, how can you make me think my mind isn't working??

Also, you didn't listen to the part where I said to add more weaknesses obviously. Which I've stated multiple times now. Also, just a nitpick, but how does one inject shockwaves?

The app is getting better, much, much better and by that I mean your powers are looking good and all you need to do is add one or two more weaknesses and redo allusion.

OT: Anyway from now on Emblem will be looking over this App. You are very close to getting approved if you make the corrections I pointed out, but alas I am too busy to deal with this anymore. This is no offense to you though, keep working at it Wink
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Moon
Procrastination Queen
Moon


Posts : 4911
Join date : 2012-01-22
Age : 72

RPG character
Name:
Code Name:
Villain or good guy?: Good

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PostSubject: Re: Synthosis (Moon)   Synthosis - Synthosis (Moon) Icon_minitimeSun Jan 29, 2012 5:39 pm

Non Taken, And thank you so much for the pointers! you won't be sorry when (or if) i get this approved. My older sister is going to draw my character. My sister is college grade and she is an awesome drawer
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Emblem
Infinimagus on Fire
Infinimagus on Fire
Emblem


Posts : 925
Join date : 2009-08-27
Location : The Netherlands

RPG character
Name:
Code Name: Emblem
Villain or good guy?: Good

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PostSubject: Re: Synthosis (Moon)   Synthosis - Synthosis (Moon) Icon_minitimeSun Jan 29, 2012 5:43 pm

Glad to hear from you again Moon, I will have this checked fully ASAP!
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Moon
Procrastination Queen
Moon


Posts : 4911
Join date : 2012-01-22
Age : 72

RPG character
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Code Name:
Villain or good guy?: Good

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PostSubject: Re: Synthosis (Moon)   Synthosis - Synthosis (Moon) Icon_minitimeSun Jan 29, 2012 5:56 pm

Thank you so much!!!!!
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Emblem
Infinimagus on Fire
Infinimagus on Fire
Emblem


Posts : 925
Join date : 2009-08-27
Location : The Netherlands

RPG character
Name:
Code Name: Emblem
Villain or good guy?: Good

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PostSubject: Re: Synthosis (Moon)   Synthosis - Synthosis (Moon) Icon_minitimeMon Jan 30, 2012 2:56 pm

All righty, I have read through it. Couple of things sprint to mind. I will note them below, and I would like you to reply to any of the questions I have. If it's a dumb question I ask, well..bear with me, okay? I'll refer to my character (Emblem Trailblazer) in comparison, just to keep things clear Wink

I have read through and would like you to elaborate on the following powers:

Allusion. You have to realise that not everyone will simpyl fall for this, even if they do not know your character. For instance, my character, Emblem Trailblazwer, is immune to any kind of mind-magic. OThers will have strong wills as described in their character applications. Would you tell me what the fullest extent of her power is? What's the best she can do?

Intangibility. If she becomes able to move through solid matter, she won't be able to perform any other ability. Fair enough, but how long does it take for her to become intangible? Will she still be hurt by elemental attacks or other magics? Were she to be hurt or burned if Emblem threw fireballs at her? Can she become intangible and tangible quick, or does this takesome time? Will she be able to attack in any way when intangible?

You state her powers are very powerful. That's a sentence that's both wrong and right. You see, her abilities might be very useful in one situation, but null and void in the other. In reference, Allusions will never work on Emblem, but might very well on someone else. Heroes or villains that have been on the site for quite a long time will also have an edge of sorts in expertise.

Now, as for your weaknesses...What's an Ice Diamond? I cannot seem to find what it is in your character application. Would you elaborate? Furthermore, how does one exactly insert shockwaves with a needle? Who would be qualified to do so? And how would one be able to measure how much memory she loses? Can she lose it all, short and long-term?

I would like to see some more history if possible. It's what shapes your character. I've read she was a slave, but although it seems quite a big deal, it is mentioned briefly twice..

And what justifies her hatred of children. It's fine with me either way, but I don't really get it. Must be me, but would you explain what caused her to dislike children? And how does she know the Titans in such a way that she knew from the beginning she wanted to be one?



Now, I know this seems much, but it's just for me to wrap my head around. Please answer these and edit them into the original profile so we can continue. Complex characters do require complex writing, or much questions, or both, Moon. Let me know if you have any questions or something!

Kind Regards,

Emblem



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Moon
Procrastination Queen
Moon


Posts : 4911
Join date : 2012-01-22
Age : 72

RPG character
Name:
Code Name:
Villain or good guy?: Good

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PostSubject: Re: Synthosis (Moon)   Synthosis - Synthosis (Moon) Icon_minitimeThu Feb 02, 2012 3:45 pm

Okay, I thought about the allusion and I think it is too complicated, so I removed it.
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