Brute[Ready]

Full Name:Esscast Sterling
Nickname(s):crusader
Codename: rook
Alias(es):brute
Age:47
Race: Human
Alignment:chaotic good



Hair Color:black
Eye Color:black
Gender:male
Height:6"3
Weight:150lbs
Other Traits:



-concussive shot: a specialized grenade round made to be a launch able flash bang on a adjustable fuse

-combat fitness: bassicly he keeps himself at peek physical condition for being apart of the military

homemade armor:a speacilized armor made from both heavy and lightweight armor plating thus protecting him from small arms fire and stabs from bladed weapons plus is fire proof

Skills
-{Any number of mundane skills you want (e.g. able to drive a car, hairdresser, good singing voice) but a limited amount of 'exceptional' skills melee expert :blades, military weapons training  , handgun marksman, feild medic skills

Physical Weaknesses
anything that could kill a normal human

Mental Weaknesses
not being great at empathy


Equipment
an assortment of military grade fire arms, explosives ,jet pack, homemade armor
multiple cuncussion rounds, 30ft of retractable garrat wire
[/b]


Personality
Personality :esscast is a strong willed fighter who puts his fellow allies before himself, he can be boastful, but only in a friendly jest. He's calm collective and above all a brilliant strategist. And if you get to know him past his rough exterior you'll see he's the best friend you'll ever have however his ego may come off a bit uptight surely not as bad as it was but still there, often making himself apologies. Old habits die hard as they say.





Family Members: n/a
Place of Origin: jump city
History
Esscast was born into a prestigious Catholic family in the more wealthy areas of jump city. He grew up in this lifestyle due his father's being a well-known merc. His education was no exception, given going to a well-known private school he was guided into greatness by his stern father who encouraged him to go into sports and would take him on yearly hunting trips to make a man of his young son. However, being wealthy did have its drawbacks, but who could blame him living entitled life. His father wanted to see his son grow up to be a man of honor and someone to look up to a hero of sorts but due to spoiling him at a young age. His mother teaching him in the ways of her and his father merc group known as the crusaders. Teaching him Biblical verses and combat strategies as well as how to look after those wounded and such.

His mother decided on his 13th birthday to tell her Esscast about his family history mainly about the crusaders. The crusaders were a religious group of mercs that fought for both their lord and their people and how they were hired for other fights and or battles others would not join up for. She told him the meaning of the term battle brother or sister: a person who you trust with your life and would be honored to fight by their side. She also mentioned the honor of being sworn in is a ritual and pledge to your fellow battle brothers. His mother told him about how his father was their most strongest and fearless crusader but, how he was a kind man to boot. She told of her many days as a tactician for their cause as well as the downfall of the crusaders. Eventually they cared less for their cause and more about the money, and so she and his father left and around that year Esscast was born His ego had slowly disappointed his father as he got older. Believing his father's tales were just stories with no meaning. One day he really upset his father due to his mother passing from old age Esscast basically said she was loony with this crusader talk and teachings. His father began to distance himself from his son more and more than his son made it seem that his legacy would be forgotten. His father believed that the entitled lifestyle had driven a wedge between his family and their moral grounding.His father and mother fought for the crusaders in the name of their lord and savior. as time passed he saw more of the greed in Esscast's actions that drove the crusaders apart.

That was until he joined the military in. Upon joining at the age of 26 he was hated by most of his class in boot due to him originally thinking he's better than everyone. That was to say until he met a friend that would turn him around, a down to earth minimalist Irish lad named McGregor. The two of them afterward were inseparable training in heavy combat infantry and orstoc training but also Esscast taking tactical training and serving in countless missions together. Soon his father saw the change in his son. His father's death bed he did one final act for his son swearing him into the crusaders. This was Esscast's proudest moment as he finally pleased his father.By no means was he a merc it was symbolic oath in carrying his family name and ideals but as for being a merc that part did die with his father. Later that week Esscast sworn in McGreger as his battle brother though for mcgreger he never got to see everyone win the war. He was to meet up with Esscast and friends when first contact with the reapers happened. Upon receiving this information it was probably one of the hardest moments to Esscast to get over he wore mcgregor's family coat of arms painted on the opposite shoulder as the alliance flag in remembrance of his friend. Later that day he donned his helmet and proceeded to fight in combat.

Wearing heavy combat armor and a jet propulsion system built in he used both strategy and brute force to stomp his foes into submission. In time, he was sent to aid in the front lines with his squad in an attempt to push back the enemy. Due Esscast way above average education allowed him to be a great tactician during the fight with the reapers, his lack of empathy wiched used to be criticized by his father meant he had an easier time when fellow squad mates bit the dust that's not to say he doesn't miss them. During assault ops an abush gone wrong left esscast with most of his squad wiped out, and he himself to head home on medical leave due to multiple broken bones. After recuperation, he returned to the military to continue his duties as a soldier.



-{Only required if you've never gotten a character approved before. Minimum 2 paragraphs.}

Character saying is a copy of your last one. Is this intentional?

He has no codename or nickname written down.

Side note: So he's using Necromancy?


Invisibility: So does it function like bad Halo Camo? Also does he become visible at all when attacking or casting spells?

Lightning Bolt: 10 souls for a lightning bolt. Is it actually a lightning bolt or does it just appear as one? Because one is as fast as light, which is normally impossible to dodge. And it happens when he snaps his fingers, which has little warning. Even if the number of souls required was increased, I cannot with good reason allow an attack that is (in my mind currently) at the speed of the light with the mere snap of the fingers. I'm also not comfortable allowing it with a charge simply because it's a lightning bolt. Which normally kill people with one shot.

Lightning Strike: -points to above critique-

Speedy Recovery: If he's on the brink of death, how would he be able to cast this spell? And what exactly does that mean in regards to the conditions needed for it to work?

Other Side note: How did you plan on keeping track of these souls? Do they carry over? Because while I have no problem with it personally, did you intend on him just randomly killing a bunch of people in every single thread he's in? Not sure how other players would feel about that.

Weaknesses: it seems like you copy and pasted this from some where. Also, you're lacking 1 mental weakness and have also failed to describe how exactly he's insane, or what he's liable to do because he is insane.

Personality: Okay, he's crazy... and cocky. Are there any other character traits you'd like to mention here?

Edited

Right, I have some bad news. There's been a trend with your character apps and I haven't been the only one to notice it. This character is very similar to your other characters. Specifically Ren and Reina. His character saying is practically identical to Reina's as a matter of fact. If you need some more examples I can find them. But I digress. We of staff have decided that we will no longer accept apps of this quality. Spelling errors, grammatical errors, and coding errors are just a few of the problems with this app and the ones before it. There are also scarce details about "brute" as a person. I'd also like to point out that his codename and nickname sections are completely blank, a problem I wanted you to fix with Reina.

So what we are looking for now is for you to put more work into this app. Fix the grammatical and spelling errors, fill in ALL of the identity fields with none or N/A- your choice, remove (-{Any number of mundane skills you want (e.g. able to drive a car, hairdresser, good singing voice) but a limited amount of 'exceptional' skills) and place each item in an organized list using the list coding, have more then 1 mental weakness, flesh out his personality more (150 words please), add more likes, and add more dislikes/habits and hobbies. And please, make him more different then Ren and Reina because as I said, he's very similar to them. Also, please give him a character saying that is UNIQUE to him and not a 1 word difference to Reina's.

No staff member will be rechecking this app/giving you feed back on it until these changes are made.

Will do mega i apologies for lack of trying im just really depressed since my aunt died

Edited

My apologies in getting back to this so later. Personality is 82 words. Not 150, like I asked: -{Any number of mundane skills you want (e.g. able to drive a car, hairdresser, good singing voice) but a limited amount of 'exceptional' skills . <-- that part. His character saying has not been changed to something more unique, like I asked. He still needs ATLEAST one more mental weakness. Other traits is blank, please fill that in as you see fit. Or put N/A.

Make these changes within a week of this post or I'll have to send him to the graveyard. Again, sorry for the delay.

Due to the changes I asked for not being made, I must banish this app to the shadow realm! NYEEEEEEH!