We gotta talk (toji/ask)

Jenny stood outside the hotel she had been staying in for a month or so now leaning against her motorcycle wearing her casual clothes she normally did when not on patrol. toji had been her friend for a very long while now and he was a little brother to her so she felt it was needed to explain the info he gained off nightingale a few nights ago on her killing people and something else that had come up that she felt she had to tell someone and she felt that if anyone it should be toji.

Toji walks up to Jenny. Much like a few nights ago, there was a certain aura around him. One of weariness and sadness.His shoulders were hunched like he was carrying something heavy. The boy looks up, then sighs." Alright...you wanted to see me?"

Jenny looked down then back up to him he was still lookign like he was in bad shape... "look I wanted to talk to you about what addison told you a few nights ago and something else that came up..." She motioned for him to follow her and she started to walk up to her room. "first up... My past is rarely known by others in full... Mostly cause i've wiped so much of the info away..." she opened the door lettign him in it looked like she had someone else living with her in the roomthat was of the female gender.

"I have killed hundrends of people.... but about 90 percent of it wasn't my fault..." she sat downon her bed hunched over a bit as she looked down "I used to be partly possessed byan evil spirit... she used me to kill and massicare large amounts of people in cities until I finally got her removed from me... I wont go into detail but thats what addison was talking about... as for the other incidents... the first time i killed were 3 teenages/preteens..." her eyes grew dark along with her tone.

"They were my first team and friends.. we were petty theives due to it first being for survival then for pure fun... things were so simple back then... steal what you want without care sicne everyone hated you anyways... then mock the police as they'd chase you down... it was the last time in my life that i had been so happy for so long... then one of our members we all trusted betrayed us and took control of the others... my will was strongest so i broke free and had to fight my only freinds who were like older siblings to me... they thought me how to fight hack play music... everything..."

" and that night i was forced to kill all but 2 the one who controled them got away and the other who had became my girlfriend that night was put into a coma and over 10 bullets were put into me and a few weeks later i think I woke up... I found her room and figured shed be safer away from me so that night i wiped all crimes on her record away so no one could put her in prison and she could live life anyway she wanted... a few months ago shehad woken up from her coma and that prick took control of her again..."

" i had found her again... i was so happy i hand her close and kissed her only to be stabbed by her due to her being controlled and the guy forced me to watch as he killed her infront of my eyes...." She held in her tears as she continued. "i then took him down so he couldn't hurt anyone else like he hurt all of us but didn't kill him... I then burried her in the grave i had been in for a few months when a guy named kriss tricked me and killed me while my gaurd was down...." She clenched her fist at the last part.

"the other occasions were mass murders of mobs and gangs who were kidnapping children and torturing and killing them for their powers here in jump while the titans stood back and worried about their in team social lives... then each time i came back i sat back and watched as my new team members only focused on their own base or internal issues doing the exact opposite of what titans and heroes should do... So i kept going out taking out more villains who were doing crimes that were over looked by titans and most others.... I still do but in a less lethal ways now..." She kept he head low but looked up to him.

"I had left the titans twice now... the first time was because the titans were again doing nothing and i brought the leaders act of inactivity up and the suggestion of a temporary replacement... I was then treated as scum and a traitor of the group my boyfriend at the time even trying to get me to fight yang despite the fact i would have gotten horribly injured and said that I had insulted and defiled the bond i held with the team... I told him i dont fight friends so i left... I had briefly made my own team but it died out when i died by getting shot in the gut up through my lung..." she said looking to the bullet hole scar on her stomach Then back up to him a serious look on her face.

"When I came back to life due to Addison i rejoined hotwires team... He had yang on the team the leader of the old version of the team when there was only one and meta... a guy who nearly killed me for stealing a coat so i wouldnt freeze to death in the winter all because he was having a 'bad day'.... I hated that guy but i tried to hide it thinking i promised hotwire i'd stay to help him fix the team up.... I left that one since yang and hotwire constantly were fighting to see who had the bigger dick and who got to call shots. Meta never did anything on the team and when i unneededly apologized to yang about what i had done and that i learned alot since i left the team she said that she knew everything i went through and didn't care..."

SHe narrowed her eyes "You should note that while i was gone i not only died by was beaten nearly to death in my home town for just being at my parents and brothers funeral... Lost kale as my boyfriend who had proposed i fight yang, got pregnat then had my stomach impaled by a monster that left the slash scare on my stomach and had to watch as the medics had to drug me as they took out my baby from me and deposed of him... ihad then went through a mental break down and slashed off my own hair and ears that note used to be 3 times the length they are now... she knew i died she knew i was going through depression since i had no one who cared about me around. "

"she knew that kris had been there for me and i grew feeligns for him only for him to shoot me before we kissed she knew that jak had shattered my heart and left me saying how he didnt care about me even though i had died and had to dig out of my own grave... she aparently knew everything... and didnt care... hotwire a month or so later had found out about my past and such and we found out how im not even human.. he watched me cry over having to relive my past and all the millions of ways i nearly died...."

" and all he had to say was well lets get back to the mission so we can take down this guy we dont even know for sure is a bad guy.... my opions were constantly shot down due to yang of hotwire coming up with a new idea and having to fight over whose idea was better... So I left...." Her face softened but stayed serious. "I see you as one of my only friends and little brother... I'm not telling you to leave the titans.... I'm not telling yu to stop trusting others... I'm not telling you to give up on love... I'm not telling you to become me.... I'm telling you all of this so you have a better fighting chance against what will come in your future if it comes... The pain won't stop nor lessen... not even 3 going on 4 years after your girlfriends death..."

" You'll still dream about her and hurt... but you always must remember that you can let the hurt stay on you or you can focus on what you must or else you will die... when you die its not peaceful its not painless your life doesnt flash before your eyes only regret that you died before your time came because you let the pain stop you from moving... I've been shot by helecopters... hit by cars... beaten to near death... impaled many times... nearly eaten alive, most of the worlds bullets think im a target..."

" but the knowledge of letting mental and or physical pain and injures getting to me will kill me before my times up keeps me alive because I belive that despite my pain one day I can possibly be happy like i was with my first team and along the way stop others from hurting like i have... My methods are odd, my tactics are worse but I've saved 5 times more people than I have killed and yes the ghosts of those I killed haunt me but they can never stop me...."

" So this is the first thing i wanted to tell you today toji... Watch out for the titans because they can and will pull you down if you let them... i know her death was recent but unless you want to join her keep you mind focused when you're on the field.... and keep fighting.... never stop no matter what..."

Toji follows her up to her room.Seemed like she had a roommate. Then, he sits and listens as she tells what her sister meant. His hand goes up hto his neck, clenching. He remembered what it felt like....not to have any control, to be a...slave. He gasps as the girl speaks about what happened to her first team, his eyes widening as she goes on about how she suffered, how the Titans had treated her.....T-this was what she suffered?! Shed even lost a child...His sister reassures him that she's not telling him to giveup , not telling him to stop loving, not telling him to leave his pack...not to stop trusting. She was, instead, just trying to help him.She finishes, and the halfling nods. He's still for a moment, and then suddenly his arms are wrapped around Jenny reassuringly." I'm sorry...I'm sorry that all happened to you...I'm sorry I wasn't able to help." He leans back, and drags a grin out in a attempt to reassure her." Ey....I plan on fighting...I...Its my job." He loksdown, sighing. Truth be told..he wanted to join Ruin. He'd even thought about 'trading', but that had been cut short." I'm....I'm just worn out..is all..."Toji shakes his head, looking up." But enough of that....Sister, I understand. I..I know you've been through hell, and I know you've hurt....What you've done, I don't judge you for it. You...from the sounds of it, you didn't have a choice..I know what kinda of burden that is...I'll be there for you."

Jenny hugged him back and shook her head "don't be sorry... if it wasn't for all that i wouldnt be who i am today... I was much diffrent back then in many ways... besides that was way before i met you so there was no way you could have helped me back then" she sighed then looked up "as for the other thing I called you over for... I'm becoming a part time hero in jump.... and I'm relocating to be a full time hero in a city a few hours from here called Jewel city."

"They have no heroes and they are starting to gain major villains. I'm the only hero the city has ever known.... and I plan on staying there... they need me more than jump since Jump barely knows I'm alive and has a million heroes already who think they're top grade %#!@ but know so little... To be honest I'm partly relocating because I'm sick of it... I didn't care at first but now its just so annoying i cant stand it. People like you and me work hard to stand where we are to day and now just any kid with a cloth over their face calls themselves heroes some think they are even better than us when they know absolutely nothing..."

"I was happy at first when the registration happened I hoped it would scare off those kids butit just bred more who now dont think masks are needed and spit on all the ways of heroes then get mad when you dont praise them as the best thing to come to Jump. So I'm going to go to Jewel and stay their hero and teach every new kid who comes up what they are really walking into..."

" being a hero isnt fun and games its a sentence that brings all tragedies that can happen to you and dares you to over come them in order to make a difference for others not to get famous quickly and throw a tantrum till it happens. The titans in my oipion were suppose to show that while protecting the innocents so they dont feel they have to do the dirty work but the titans just seem to be be filled with those kids..."

She sighed but looked up "I'll still stick around jump and if you need to reach me just give a note to the front desk and tell them to leave it in this room and when i get a place in Jewel I'll contact you and give you my address so you can visit when ever you want. I feel.... I feel like this is the change I need right now..."

Toji nods, then listens. The halfling considers what to say,then nods." If...if you feel this is best, then that's okay.....I know that place will be in good hands.." A small smile grows." It...it would be nice to visit you in your home..."  Toji looks at her." If this makes you happy....do it."

He smiled softly and hugged him ''thanks toji that means a lot that you'd say that" she then nodded ruffling his hair "yeah it would be and I actually plan on getting a real place for once this time around so you again for once wouldn't be stuck visiting a small hotel room." she then smiled and nodded hugging him once again. "Again thanks and I'll still visit and do stuff around here but not as often."

Toji shrugs." I meant it..." He blinks as she ruffles his hair. Why did everyone do that?The halfling listens to what she says." Its okay...I don't mind visiting you here....Its not the place that matters, right?" He nods." Okay....Just....just be safe....." He looks down, Hus eyes closing." I know I've been...gloomy...lately...I..I just want to thank you...for being there..."

she chuckled and nodded "true it really doesnt matter but i'd like to invite you over and beable to say this is my home you know? i havent had one of those in a long time..." she then chuckles again and nods. "I will I don't die easily... or atleast I don't stay dead easily." she then smiled doftly to him. "I'll always be there for you little bro..."

Toji nods, smiling slightly? That was good...it was good he wouldn't lose anybody else...He didn't think he'd survive it.The halfling yawns, leaning against Hus sister and drifting off. Pack.....safe...Nightmares....not come here...And so ended a talk.

END