The Five Stages (Emmz)

The citizens of Jump were of a hardened breed. Frequent supervillain attacks, alien assaults, and demonic invasions made your average Jumpite difficult to deter. They had jobs to work, friends to visit, a life to live. If they hadn't moved yet they weren't gonna. This presented in one or two noticeable fashions. For example, there were very few miscreants that could make them cross the street. A six foot, bald-headed, bruiser covered in mob tattoos would be chickened off the pavement by a stubborn old lady. No. It took a different sort of intimidation altogether. Strength of muscles was nothing in comparison to strength of smell. Add powerful body odour to gaunt features, jaundiced eyes, and a slung shovel; then you had your nightmare fuel. Scapegoat found himself with a lot of elbow room.

The shovel was covered in fresh dirt. Clumps of compacted soil crumbled from its surface as Scapegoat sauntered down the street. It was braced against his right shoulder, a bag knotted around its beam in hobo style, carrying his possessions along behind. His left arm swung back and forth as he crossed a road, forcing vehicles to halt due to carelessness. The fingernails on both hands were thick with yet more dirt; grime coated his upper arms and trousers proving he'd been up to his elbows in filth. Larva of various insects still clung to his garments. It looked as if his hair had never known a comb.

Rounding a children's playground which sat nestled beneath an apartment block, Scapegoat sighted his destination. Threading a cordon of street parked cars, the ghoul wiped his bare feet on a non-existent mat before entering the comic emporium. A bell tinkled overhead. The door sucked shut behind him, abruptly bathing Vernon in air conditioned serenity. The airs of a particular song continued to chime on in the background. A sole customer looked up from his browsing with evident concern. Unslinging his shovel, Scapegoat freed the knot from his napkin bag, allowing its contents to pour onto the shop floor. Grave soil trickled out. A lot of it. Another bell tinkle - the customer had left. The ghoul stuck his shovel into the mound he'd made until it could hold upright by itself. He placed both hands on his hips. The proprietor and he shared a look, "So. You cremated him. This upsets me. I might cry. We should talk. I brought soil! Which has nothing to do with anything. But we really should talk." You see someone you know in the obituaries and you think you'll get an interesting meal. But noooo.

Nina stared at Scapegoat with a giant mug of coffee being held in both her hands "there was nothing left to bury, he was vaporized where he stood, there was only ashes left of him so I scattered them in the woods, its what he would have wanted, he was always wanting to get away from the city and let us live like we truly are, foxes, beasts of the wild" she said with a dull tone, her eyes sullen and dark, it would look like she was trying to cosplay Gaara from Naruto except...just with the eyes..."please don't joke around Scapegoat I'm really not in the mood, just get what you want and get out, you're driving away all my real customers" she said again in her dull voice before sighing.

She wasn't her usual fun-loving 'lets all have a drink on me' Nina, no, it was a side of her no one had ever seen before, mourning, depressed, unable to sleep, this was bad...very bad...normally by now she'd have made a cheerful quip about her favourite walking, talking revenant but not this time, no, just silence.

You just didn't get to eat enough interesting people in this day and age. Scapegoat had been so exited about the news of Ixen's death that he had immediately hit the graveyard hotspots around Jump. He didn't know what religious establishment Inari ran in California, and was forced to raid the premises of many Methodist churches or privately run lots. It turns out Ixen was a common name, or at least a common mistake for borderline dyslexics. Scapegoat had turned over half a dozen wrong caskets before realising what had likely happened to the body. Cremation. He had wasted his night digging. Miffed at this reality, he decided to go bother Nina about her insensitive reaction to death.

Afterwards he bought a shovel.

Now Nina explained how Ixen had died; by being vapourised. Scapegoat felt just awful. He had accused his friend of being insensitive to his needs, when she was innocent of that charge the entire time. Of course she would have gift wrapped the corpse had she had the chance! He should never have doubted her. The two friends hadn't known each other long, but he liked to think that they could trust each other against damning evidence to the contrary. In fact, her late husband Ixen had adored Scapegoat. Between frequent threats to incinerate the ghoul, he had also regarded him as 'the worst kind' of pest, and made frequent attempts to actually incinerate him. Oh how his wit would be missed.

"Yeesh. Sorry Nina. My fault. I over-reacted. Sounds like a tough break. It must have killed the fun. The fun being your marriage. Hopes. Dreams. And aspirations." Scapegoat scratched his back and looked around. She had asked him to leave. But he needed to make things up to her. Else she might quietly harbour a grudge against him. Such a grudge could build and build until eventually she would take a rash action. Like telling him to leave! The ghoul had to nip this far-flung future in the butt while there was still time. "You don't look so good. Not as bad as me, but still. Are you in mourning? Maybe we could do that talking stuff I said. Don't mean to brag but - I died before it was cool. I know all the best afterlife bistros."

Nina just stared at Scapegoat as he talked, smiling a little at him, it would be hard to tell if it was anyone else but...Nina could see he was trying to cheer her up with his dry humour "yeah...him being my childhood best friend didn't help either" she said quietly "but I know he's looking down on me standing by Inari's side now" she said with a little more of a smile "I know that despite his sudden and probably violent death...at least he's at peace now and doesn't have to put up with the things I dragged him through" she said, a few tears falling from her eyes at the thoughts in her head "I have a feeling he's happy now" she added.

"So sure Scape, whatever you want to talk about then we can talk about it, I should try stay positive" she spoke before taking one last gulp of her comically large coffee cup and putting it to the side before standing up.

The ghoul wouldn't admit it, but he envied the souls that reached genuine salvation, although he held a healthy scepticism that there actually wasn't an All-Powerful Benevolence attending the Cosmos. If there had been, he would have been justly rewarded for his prior life. Instead those in true power - the demons who sort the approval of no being - had used him as their plaything. Salvation lay in becoming like them. Moving to the top of the food chain. Being the bully and not the victim. Nina's blind optimism was a cutch. If he didn't set her straight then she wouldn't fare well when it came her turn to die.

"Any conversation topic?" Glee radiated from Scapegoat as he clasped his hands. There were many topics he wanted to discuss that no amount of digression had ever allowed him to gracefully segue into. Now was his chance! He just needed to figure out how to cram all his many unrelated subjects into one tidy bundle.

A sly idea caused his next look to be aslant, "Then first is the topic of how wrong you just were. Like, wrong with a capital 'P'. Which the word 'wrong' doesn't have. So you know it's serious." His chains jangled as he pointed theatrically to the sky "You don't dwell on death! You don't sit around the house wondering if there's anything more to life. Anything to give it all meaning. You trivialise it! Don't show it the satisfaction of due consideration. People die. Whoop-de-doo! La-de-da! Fiddle-de-dee! Um-diddle-diddle-diddle-um-diddle-ay!" Wait. That was Mary Poppins. Concentrate!

"You too can develop a ghoulish attitude to mortality! I shall explain it now in bite sized chucks. Prepare to experience - The Five Stages!" Scapegoat turned her shop sign to closed. There shouldn't be an interruption to this, "The Five Stages of Dismissal."

Nina just stared at Scapegoat blankly "Scape its just the fact that he was my fiancée and childhood friend, I'm sorry if I react just like anyone else to something like that, I'd rather just mourn till I feel better" she said as she leaned back in her chair and rubbed her face "I don't want to become ghoulish like you, I'm a kitsune, I'm not a rotting pile of walking, talking bones" she said as she went into the staff kitchen and poured herself some more coffee 'bleh, I don't even like coffee but I know its the only thing keeping me awake right now' she thought as she waited on the coffee maker, wondering if Scapegoat would wait for her or just follow her into the kitchen.

Nina didn't take to Scapegoat's ghoul workshop with as much alacrity as he'd been hoping for. It appeared his teachings would not be welcome. He most certainly did not have a Mr Miyagi vibe going. Despite his ability to wax both clockwise and counter clockwise. Sometimes simultaneously with either hand. A hard skill to master when one did not own a car, nor possess anything one would want spread upon their car. Lessons often concluded with a foot chase.

The self-proclaimed kitsune wandered into an adjacent room, while Vernon followed with the tenacity of a wind-up toy. Her invitation to accompany had been assumed. "There's nothing wrong with being ghoulish. You take aspirin for your headaches, don't cha? This is just like that. We numb the pain." Scapegoat never dwelled on what he'd lost. Holding on to benefits long-passed was as impractical as it was ineffectual. Nothing could restore that which was gone. "It ain't even necessary to feel pain. Caring is optional. It's a pre-checked tick box which you can opt out of. Go ahead. Treat yourself to some apathy. The first Step is detachment!" The coffee maker plug was yanked out of its socket.


"I... expected a rainbow to happen when I did that. It works for Sesame Street."

Nina just plugged the coffee maker back in and stared at Scapegoat "as an ancient order once taught me, it is good to hide your feelings, but not suppress them" she said calmly as she went to the cupboard and took a cupcake out from the wrapper, pouring her coffee into a Garfield mug and taking a bite out of the cupcake, chewed then swallowed "I'm not going to play in your little game Scape, I'm tired ok? If I wanted some phoney help class I would have gone to one already, I just need some time ok? I'll probably ask Mal for advice seeing as he lost Luna to the Zydons too" she said softly.

The ghoul met Nina's stare with a beaming of his own. The cable was plucked from his dead fingers and returned to its proper place. The machine droned back into life. Temptation caused Scapegoat to imagine the comic timing in smashing Nina's glass pot, but then she distracted him with a reply. She hadn't mentioned anything before about her tutorage. In fact, Scapegoat had gotten the impression she'd been home schooled. Now she said she was the student of some 'ancient order'? Inari must have been in charge. He probably taught them all the secrets of cooking rice. Uncle Ben was doubtless another student; gone rogue, betraying his Eastern teachings for Western ideals. Nina was destined to meet with him over a paddy field and do great battle. It would be epic.

"I don't get it. That's choosing to live in pain. If you can lie to everyone else, then why not just start lying to yourself? I do it all the time. It's easy for me 'cus I'm not that bright." Vernon said, stealing the cupcake wrapper and beginning to fiddle with it. The kitsune next tried to put her foot down, telling Scapegoat that she wouldn't indulge him any longer. A familiar response. Most people stonewalled Scapegoat when he outstayed his welcome. It was okay.

What rankled was her comment to the contrary. She would talk about the subject, just not with him. Ghouls may not feel the sting of death, but insensitivity still hurt, "B-But you said whatever I wanted to talk about. You can't take this away from me. Not on the year of my birthday!" Unless he wasn't entitled to a birthday anymore. The demons who respawned him forgot to mention that. "You think I can't relate? I've lost! I have a hole in my pocket right now. Who knows what went missing on my way over here."

Nina looked to Scapegoat with a frown, its true, how did she know if he had lost people close to him or not? She didn't "I'm sorry buddy I guess I...just don't want a big fuss being made out of it all...I miss him you know? And life without him now is scary...he was always there for me, right in my shadow, devoted to me, anything I wanted he'd get for me...I...I miss him Scape..." she said as she sniffed a little, trying to hold back her tears and quickly wiped them away "no...I can't cry...not anymore...I'm a big girl now..." she uttered softly as she put her cupcake and coffee to the side.

Nina then went over to the sink and splashed water on her face "I need to stop dwelling on the massive screw up I did..." she said as she dried her face with a kitchen hand towel "I'm sorry for all these mood swings Scape I guess its just me trying to get over lots of depression and guilt all at once" she said as she turned to him with a little frown "maybe I should just try hook up with Mal...I mean me and Luna were good friends and he's certainly more than capable of protecting me...I'm sure Ixen would have entrusted me to him too if we had ever talked about it" she added "I guess I could try win his heart by cooking then right? Apparently the stomach is the doorway to the heart for men" she said smiling "Ixen always liked it when I cooked..." she uttered, then realising she had sort-of just been talking to herself and so waited for a response.

"But... No... I said... Crying is..."

It was like she hadn't heard Scapegoat at all. The ghoul had been specifically preaching that she deny her emotions, and yet here she was opening her heart to him. How didn't she get this? Mourning hurt. Reflecting on your memories was painful. Crying was futile. It changed nothing. It just made you miserable. Who wanted to spend their life in constant sorrow and turmoil? It wasn't how Scapegoat had chosen to spend his afterlife - that was for sure.

Ghouls often achieved a unique view on death. An outlook which made the rest of the world seem insane. Funerals - needless expenses! Graves - a waste of valuable space! Keepsakes and trinkets - nothing more than clutter! Memories were just memories. They changed nothing about life. But more importantly, they changed nothing about death. Vernon was sure his own funeral was lovely, a real heartfelt shindig, but did that prevent or lessen his ten years of torture in Hell? No! It was all f***ing pointless!

Nina was never going to grasp this if he was kind, "Ixen also liked it when you didn't talk to strange men. Which in his definition was 'men'. But that's a fine way to uphold his legacy. Hook up with the first six pack you can find. They should have buried him on a spit-roast. Makes turning in your grave easier." For the first time since he knew Nina, he wasn't smiling, "If you wanna mourn him properly, then you'd stay a widow. But your not gonna. Hypocrite."

Nina's face turned unamused and serious "You may have a different outlook on life Scape but its not an outlook that I share, I haven't been through what you have, I still love and cherish my friends and family, I still have people that I care for" she said in an irritated tone, if he was trying for a tough love approach now, it wouldn't work at all.


"I'm trying to move on Scape, you know, what you're pretty much saying to, so don't tell me one thing then tell me something else" she said as she folded her arms and glared at him.