Sir Divington Dartathy Esquire (LOA)

My laptop was bored. It asked itself what would be entertaining. Maybe it would learn juggling, join the circus. Maybe it would synthesise a cure for broken arm (It's the 21st century and we still get broken arms dammit!) But no. It instead thought its time could be best spent having a catastrophic failure.

It's between telling me there is no hard-drive (evidence of existentialism is the second question IT experts ask you for after "is the power on") and making up new acronyms that the Operating System cannot synch with.

I've tried all the usual troubleshooting. Getting angry at it, bribing it, sacrificing poultry, hoping it'll fix itself; and I'm starting to think this just may not be fixable. So I'll be offline for the foreseeable future.

Didn't expect this would go on a month, but I've still not resolved the problem. Keep baring with me.

OK, DD. Good luck, bud!