Staring at the Future (Teen Titans Go)

Alriiiiiight, we're back to this. I wrote one because I was the only person willing to give the new series a chance when it came out. I immediately regretted it and took a steaming dookie on the show but...now I'm just angry and have to make another review. Mostly because they're CLEARLY referencing one of my favorite episodes from the original, "How Long is Forever?" For those who aren't familiar with the name, this was the episode in which Starfire ended up being hurled into the future.


Now then, onto the show.

The episode opens with Robin...trying to grow a mustache...to get girls. I'm sorry, can I just stop right now? For someone who was so carried away and obsessive with stopping criminals and saving innocents that he couldn't focus on a girl for more than half a moment, Robin is suddenly placing A LOT of attention on this crap. Not to mention, he's 16 at least since he can APPARENTLY drive the freaking Batmobile. (Different episode but still) I may not be a guy, but I'm PRETTY SURE he could just stop shaving for a couple months and have a full out beard!

Anyway, Beastboy and Cyborg then crash through the wall of the tower that Cyborg USED to take care of and love like his child, claiming it was part of being an indoor rodeo act...huh. After being told they should be responsible, they tell Robin and the others to screw off and hop OUT THE WINDOW to go eat pizza. Wow, this show just makes...so much sense.

We cut to Cyborg and Beastboy eating a...pepperoni pizza...Vegetarian Beast Boy eating a Pepperoni pizza...How did BB put it in the original series? He can't eat meat because he's BEEN all of these animals? Regardless, the last slice falls on the ground and the two have a staring contest to see who should get the last slice. This contest only lasts a mere 30 years. Wow, okay. That's...wow. Okay. The Titans didn't come looking for them? They didn't need to eat or sleep or pee? The store owner didn't KICK THEM OUT? And even then, they have not aged at all. Cyborg's batteries should be dead at this point, and even then Beastboy should be DUST.

So now they realize how long it's been (Dont even get me started) and have decided to go find their friends. What irritates me is just how Beastboy nonchalantly says the lane "As long as they aren't DEAD!" Yeah. He doesn't even care.


I'll continue my ranting another time, for right now consider this part one.