Marleigh's Journal

Fall From Grace I

19XX - 100 years ago
It had all begun to make sense now. For the past hundred years or so, I had always wondered why speaking to that man became increasingly difficult and unbearable. Even among gods, he was one who possessed unusual and eccentric tastes. I find it rather sad that up until now, I had been very naïve and ignorant of his ways.

Was it because out of debt and gratitude? Perhaps. To me, he had always been the savior, the enlightener and the one who brought me hope and a bright new future. If not for him, I would now be one of the many souls wandering in the realm of the dead, satisfied with the life I led I am sure, but perhaps still plagued with the thought that there were many things that I still could have done.

I had done my best to keep that past out of my head. I felt that the best way to honor the one who gave me back my present and my future was to always live moving forward and never let the past haunt me or tie me down. I was now the Maid Saint. It was only right that I lived up to that title. But as I write my thoughts down today, that memory of being saved seems so distant. It was like a symbol of denial of what is really happening in the present.

I would not say he was evil. He was simply someone who did not understand the meaning of respect and preservation of dignity. Or if he did, he paid it no mind. He was selfish, but which god wasn't? There were far worse characters in this realm. But maybe because until now, his image had been so immaculate in my eyes that when I finally truly perceived him for what he was, the shock of the realization of his true nature greatly affected me. It was like a betrayal.

I wondered if such a reaction would be unfair to him. It was not as though he had been hiding it all this time. What had changed was not him but I. It was quite possible that my current feelings were being too hasty. Surely now that I possessed a better understanding of him, I would learn to appreciate him for what he was. I was willing to give him that chance. That was the best course of action.

Fall From Grace II

19XX - 40 years ago
My patience, which I once thought was greater than any mortal's, was tested rather harshly in these last few days. That man had returned from a visit in the realm of mortals one afternoon and went straight to me, revealing and outlining his latest eccentric scheme. Naturally it was yet another evolution of his fetish.

Maids with glasses was his new "revolutionary" idea as he put it. The image of an intellectual combined with that of a faithful and noble servant had an air of class and prestige to it. It was one that asked the question of why such a smart and dignified individual was working as a maid. Those were his exact words. I think I am not in the wrong to have felt that it was rather disrespectful to those of my profession and that his idea of what a maid should be seemed to have been warped in these last few decades.

But as I paused to ponder it some more, perhaps his thoughts were already warped from the very beginning. Since that day 60 years ago, I had been treating him a little colder than before. It seemed to have an opposite effect. Rather than feel distant, he became more persistent in changing my image to his whims. This recent event could not have been more intrusive and selfish. I predictably rejected his ideas in the most respectful way I could. But he never failed to bring it up at every opportunity. Then one morning, it just happened.

I woke up early as usual, preparing for the day ahead. And as I opened my eyes, the scenery before me was blurred. In one night, I had lost my once perfect vision. On my bedside table was a brand new pair of glasses. Reluctantly, I put them on. Lo and behold, they were a perfect fit. I don't believe I had ever felt so livid in my entire existence, both before and after I arrived in the realm of the gods.

A hundred years ago, I would not have believed you if you told me that the first person to ever make me feel such an emotion would be the very person I had the most gratitude for. You may now consider that version of me proven dead wrong.

Fall From Grace III

20XX - The final straw
It was preposterous. Of all the ideas he had suggested, this was probably the one that went against my principles the most. This time he wished for me to become what he called a "ninja maid" or something like that. To even bring up the thought of me becoming someone who took lives, I simply had to put my foot down. That was the final straw.

And yet despite my clear and obvious protest, he continued to be quite oblivious to my feelings on the matter. As I walked out of the temple of that poor excuse for a god, he was going on and on, raving about it. He even had an outfit prepared for me to wear. Needless to say, it was unnecessarily flashy and revealing. Not at all the sort of thing someone with my dignified profession would wear to work. All I could do was sigh heavily.

Sometimes I amaze even myself at the lengths through which I keep to my beliefs and preserve the way of living I chose to follow. Being a maid means everything to me. It is my purpose, my destiny and my one true role in the universe. I have always strived to be the best that I could be. Looking back at my motivation for it, I find that I keep arriving at the last few words he told me before he rescued me from certain doom: "A maid can only do what a maid can do. No one in their right mind would have expected anything more."

I guess you could say I am quite the hypocrite, having always been an advocate of moving forward and leaving the past behind. When in truth, it had been my guiding principle all this time. Then again, maybe not. Perhaps learning new things, seeing new sights and gaining new experiences was merely my original nature all along. Maybe that piece of the past is merely a coincidental excuse to explain my motivations when in reality, it was the very fundamental human curiosity that was driving me all along.

Today, I have decided to embrace that particular nature of mine. It was time to go back to my roots. I had been spending far too long a time in the realm of the gods and in his company. An old acquaintance of mine, the god of travel, suggested that I might find that fresh start in the mortal realm.